Bryan Miseducated

Maganda ang simula kaya't walang katapusan

2009-05-13T02:50:00.007+10:00

http://bryan-miseducated.blogspot.com

Lumipas ang umaga, ngunit bumalik ulit
Dumaan lang ang gabi, ng ilang sandali
Magpapatuloy sumikat ang masiglang araw
Pagkatapos na ang buwan ay aking natanaw

Ang masayang buhay, minsa'y tila nagwakas
Huwag ka ng malulungkot karugtong noo'y bukas
Sa sanga ng isang puno, may ibong nagpahinga
Masdan mo syang muli, at lumilipad na

Itutuloy, itutuloy dito o doon
Itutuloy ang lahat saan man naroon
Maganda ang simula kaya't walang katapusan
Kung hindi ka hihinto, at itutuloy mo lang

Huwag kang mag-alala, itutuloy ang ligaya
Huwag mong bibitiwan ang iyong pag-asa
May nagmamasid sayo at dahil mahal ka
Lahat ng nais mo ay itutuloy nya

Itutuloy, itutuloy dito at doon
Itutuloy ang lahat saan man naroon
Maganda and simula kaya walang katapusan
Kung hindi ka hihinto, at itutuloy mo lang...

Itutuloy, itutuloy dito at doon
Itutuloy ang lahat saan man naroon
Maganda and simula kaya walang katapusan
Kung hindi ka hihinto, [wag kang hihinto... ]
Kung hindi ka hihinto, [kung hindi ka hihinto...]
at itutuloy mo lang...

Itutuloy, Regine Velasquez

Love at Home

2009-04-02T22:20:00.005+10:00

Maybe just this one before Bryan Miseducated closes.

“Visit cousins” my Nokia reminder cried. I cringed with the eager blinking of the LCD. Something more confrontational than a phone beep was in store that day. My brother and my best friend took the subway to see Ate Yolly and Ate Luz. Citing unfinished shopping, I stayed.

--
We must pity the genus of Chip Tsao and grant him the forgiveness he asks of us in consideration of his misfortune: the deprived capability to understand one of love’s most sacred expressions.

We are thankful for the blessing of affinity with these people Mr. Tsao is raring to hate: mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, friends and lovers, personal heroes to many, great heroes of a nation, servants so full of love they transcend from the weak human attribute of self importance and allows them with pained ease to ransom a piece or at most times the whole of their happiness and joy so that others can be.

--
I am aware of the facts of my cousins’ employment but as a matter of preference I want to see them outside of that: Registered midwives with families to keep.

Chip Tsao's article "War at Home"

went norwegian hunting

2009-03-21T15:55:00.003+10:00

bryan is on leave, with raf!

thank you for visiting and see you all soon.

Milking Baguio

2009-02-04T11:13:00.005+10:00

Flowers remind me of colors and colors remind me of rainbows.

The Panagbenga Festival 2009 kicked off last February 1 and the A4-long set on eye-straining Arial Narrow #8 font list of activities gave no mention of any Baguio Pride event. Sad.

But what in gay hell is a "Queer Pride Mass"? Baguio Pride is organizing one on February 23, 2009, 3:00 PM @ the Ayuyang Bar. I guess there's only one way to find out...

N.B.

Panagbenga 2009 (Feb 1-Mar 8) Schedule

Panagbenga

My House

2009-01-30T15:49:00.001+10:00

Hindi na masama...

Lord, please...

un-blogable

2009-01-29T00:19:00.005+10:00

30 things I need to do before I turn 30

1. make a manual car run and not hit anything

2. learn to change tires

3. keep my hands off my savings

4. re-learn Espanol

5. re-learn François

6. eat less

7. date a band member preferably a lead vocalist

8. ~~wear~~ fit a pair of skinny jeans

9. gyrate on a ledge one last time

10. resize my waist to 29 (3 inches to go)

11. knot a cherry stalk with my tongue

12. … learn to write

13. … no shitty enumerations

14. … be ashamed, be very ashamed in thinking that this page is still a legit blog

15. avoid slangs i.e. legit

Busy pa ang Futa

2009-01-21T16:42:00.004+10:00

some evidence

me and bes at the most unlikely place you'd find us

the divas galivanting in laguna

incognito kunwari

soonest!

Not Yet

2009-01-07T17:25:00.007+10:00

Tons of fun I tell you, tons of fun!

I'll try to be here on Monday with a tale to tell.

Meanwhile, I'm probably the last person to see this but it's sooo funny I'm saving it a space here at Bryan Miseducated.

Sooner!

Pantene

Off Home

2008-12-06T14:12:00.004+10:00

No, I didn’t run away with Santa! I prefer my men shaved.

Bryan’s signing off for a while and that means all the greetings and cheers are due now.

So, have a wonderful Christmas ya all.

I’ll be back in 2009.

I love ya all!

Woof!

P.S. Champagne sipping at The Fort anyone? And we’ll make fun of people too.

Of Giving

2008-11-26T18:09:00.003+10:00

We Filipinos are by nature kind to our household help unless (if the rumor is true) you are Korina Sanchez. And kindness is always rewarded.

Erikina, whose housekeeping services barely afford her diurnal canned fish and noodles supper went through the trouble of weaving bilums for me. These bilums probably cost her and her family a days’ meal yet she even bothered with a wrapper. It wasn’t my birthday. And they are not early Christmas presents either. She said they are her tokens of thanks.

I castigated myself for offering to pay for the bilums since it wasn’t her intention to consummate a sale. She was purely giving.

Talk about reeling-in big inspirations from the humblest of ponds. Erikina is illiterate and may not be able to spell magnanimous but even she knows that Oxford couldn’t educate us to be one. Heaven bless her!

May we meet more Erikinas and less of them yacht-owning, popper-sniffing pretentious queens who have posh apartments in several countries and travel first class only but their idea of giving is mostly to their fat selves.

P.S.
I didn’t want her to miss dinner. I gave her extra plus extra bus fare.

Of Ex's

2008-11-19T18:12:00.007+10:00

BFF insists that I write about the not so recent tragedies suffered by my consistently calamitous romantic life but there is nothing to write about.

We’ve all heard, read, seen, experienced this classic break-up template; one takes himself the victim of a cruel conspiring world and the other—the mastermind of it all, set and smeared with the details of typical novella the materials of which are better hidden from GMA or ABS least they corrupt it into another tacky D-rate melodarama (and heaven forbid, starring Ara Mina).

Unfortunately for BFF, both calamities are sooo of this model. So, there’s nothing unprecedented for a little show and tell.

I echo BFF’s words: “I need to survive to keep living because I want to find out how my story ends”. That is exactly what I intend to do. Thing is bes, melancholy is losing its voice here at Bryan’s. But I promise we’ll chat about it, over coffee in Bali perhaps?

I am not a very religious person, but I love Jesus. And I never fail to thank him for all the good things in my life. When you lose men who turned out to be worse than mad dogs, then there’s no arguing that that is a super blessing. So, thank you, thank you.

Of Obama and Miss Earth

2008-11-11T18:02:00.005+10:00

Dear BFF,

I’m sorry but I decided against writing about Obama’s election to the presidency or Jon Santos’ recent change of civil status.

I simply couldn’t get anything organized after the Miss Earth coronation night. And it has nothing to do with the winners. Carousel has been running this gig for 6 years now. And that’s enough grace period for them to deal with the rough edges. Their pageant is still a cheaper version (technical and production-wise) of the bigger Trump-ran one. I know all these sound gay but I really find it annoying.

I know you’ve decided not to watch Ms. World and Miss Earth ever again. Harsh ka.

I, however, in the same spirit of the symbolism a black president-elect brings to an ailing empire, hope again. So I’m giving Miss Earth a few more chances. They probably need a bigger budget for a better than Walang Tulugan set for a stage, 75 watt-bulb lighting, pseudo-wide screen and town fiesta choreographers. They better start mag-caroling now for next year’s pageant.

By the way here are the dresses you asked me to pick for you to wear for Obama’s inaugural.

At kung feel mo magluksa sa outcome ng Proposition 8...

Monique Lhuillier Spring 09

Speaking of dresses... sana may dress code na sa live audience sa next na Miss Earth pageant. No t-shirts please.

i remain,

bes bryan

Book Twist October 2008

2008-11-07T18:15:00.002+10:00

The Silmarillion

Do you remember the giant spider that lost his Frodo Meal to the orcs? Tolkien didn’t just throw in that character into the trilogy for suspense effect. Darn web spinner is an offspring of Ungolianth who together with Morgoth stole the silmarils from the guardianship of the Valars. The salvaging of the robbed jewels is what this Genesis to the masterpiece The Lord of the Rings is all about.

Tolkien’s The Silmarillion presents the mythological beginnings of what would eventually be dubbed Middle-earth and briefly tackled the forging of the one ring and its destruction at the fiery pits of Mt. Doom.

[He then proceeded to expound the ring part into a three-part story (The Fellowship of the Ring (1954), The Two Towers (1954), and The Return of the King (1955)) which, with the help of an Orlando Bloom bookmark, took me three months to read.]

As for the twist part, I bought my copy from a second hand shop and it is a rather curious one with its pages sprayed of ancient stains that CSI NY (not SOCO ha) would certainly take interest on. I mean, it is a very good read except for the millions of similar sounding names.

POM I-GLITTERATI SERIES: PAY COMEDY

2008-11-04T18:29:00.002+10:00

Survey says that Vice Ganda is the least congenial funny man Port Moresby ever met. During his post-show appearances (dinners, etc) everyone noticed that he was rather withdrawn and gloomy and his smile was as genuine as an LV bag from Greenhills. He’s probably tired, pregnant or stuffed with bf’s financial issues but for us non-celebs it simply felt good to assume he’s a snob.

People’s take on him saddened me a big deal since I am a fan of Vice’s work. Many will agree that Vice is the funniest and wittiest stand-up act of the moment.

I talked to people who were with him most of the time and this info reached me. POM socialites whisper a tragic tale about Vice and two other lesser talents and their supposed US$ 7,000.00 fee. The apparent tragedy is Vice Ganda’s PhP 50,000.00 share.

There’s more on the tale than I care to share. Enough that I remain a Vice fan. Besides, I am not certain all this talk is true.

My word! A new whisper just came in. The people involved with his show…they aren’t so friendly to each other anymore. Trouble with the exchange rate?

TOMMY LIKES MEN

2008-10-29T17:58:00.002+10:00

Port Moresby jeweler and friend Es introduced me to the olfactory joy of perfume mixing. She’s so fab she throws in a crash course in scent fusing for every bling purchase you make.

Her philosophy behind perfume mixing which also stands as her excuse for hoarding things she sees in Vogue is that a perfume is a mixture of stuff and to fuse two or more perfumes together wouldn’t exactly result to a nuclear fallout. Hmmm…

Anyway before you start concocting your parfum one needs to master two things:
1. eaus (parfums, toilettes and cologne), and your
2. bases (oil and alcohol)
And you are off to seducing the closet case from the IT department with your personalized potion!

Try my TOMMY LIKES MEN for starters. You’ll need:

Tommy Girl
Diesel Masculine
A discreet place to meet him
Discreet-er maneuver where you could pull him close enough and long enough to get a whiff of you

Spray generously maintaining a 2:1 Tommy to Diesel spray ratio.

Your whiff should resemble the concoction of Mr. IT’s St. Scho girl’s virginal aroma and the muskiness of his Fitness First buddy.

If fused properly the resulting scent guarantees you a date until Christmas tops and if you’re into leather and whips perhaps he’ll even let you pass the firewall for porn access.

Blah!

P.S.
Who would have known aroma therapy really works and darn spa owners weren’t ripping us off. I was blending scents the next day and Es’ little hobby kept me calm while trying to figure out how in hell to pay for them stones.

P.S. 2
I’m writing shit again. Help!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTFRIEND

2008-10-21T18:18:00.003+10:00

effort to!

Mark Bautista Runs Into Racists

2008-10-15T18:02:00.005+10:00

ABS-CBN artist Mark Bautista was playing the piano at the Crowne Plaza Port Moresby ballroom when suddenly an elderly male Caucasian repeatedly knocked against the unknowing baby grand and scolded the pop singer for “turning the hotel into a zoo” then topped it with a generous serving of profanities.

The bigot, perhaps stirred from his fart-y and saliva drenched slumber was referring to the mini-concert starring said artist the Filipino Association organized the night before the incident.

I understand that an acquired taste for bagoong comes with appreciating such shows but white ass septuagenarian has certainly gone crackers. I’m certain that the show is no safari park at least nothing like the bigot’s baboon-ish arrogance.

White ass should have gone banging at the manager’s desk since it was the management who rented out the facilities to the Filipino community for the concert/ show instead he opted to vent his anger at Mark whose ethnicity isn’t of his favor.

I’m doubly certain that if Mark was white rude grandpa would grant forbearance even if noise from the concert razed Crowne Plaza to the ground.

If he wanted peaceful sleep he should have demanded his money back and booked a room at Hotel Hell and rested there in peace. I would have gladly sent him candles, prayers and wreaths.

I’m no fan of Mark. But between mediocre talent and racist pigs, I’d go for Mark anytime.

Mark Bautista

Bryan Miseducated's Miss International 08 Top Picks

2008-10-14T19:05:00.005+10:00

my top 6

completing the top 10

Miss International 2008

Book Twist September Part 2

2008-10-13T21:13:00.008+10:00

Ads on the side

write about poverty on October 15, 2008

there

going back

Chasing Harry Winston

by Lauren Weisberger

First two pages and I was thinking Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda but to be fair with Ms. Weisberger, tales of witty well-heeled New Yorkers running the rounds of career, romance and love post-Sex and the City are easily put into pigeonholes. Then again, benchmarks aren't excuses.

I arrived at the last pages of my copy hoping that the good half of the novel was torn away by the housekeeper. Nobody got fired and I'm done hoping.

Really, the only chase here is me hunting for a plot.

The Call of the Wild

by Jack London

The Secret Garden

by Frances Hodgson Burnett

It's impertence to give my take on these classics. For one thing, you couldn't go wrong with them. If anything I should chastise myself for being soooo late with these reads. Hmmm... how about:

1. cutting down on porn

2. watching jyesebel

3. listening to Bea Alonzo's album

Bea Alonzo

jyesebel

Chris Cendana: My New Crush

2008-10-11T14:24:00.010+10:00

i've dated accountants, bankers, call center agents, a dancer (ahaha), engineers, a gym instructor, a teacher, nurses, ex ginoong pilipinas, a police officer etcetera etcetera but never someone who can make music

may bago na ako crush

move over chef rob

come to papa, chris cendana

he's a bit size-y, but i've been accused a chub chaser before, so keri

shit, kinikilig ako

it's dr. mcfitch's fault http://doctormcfitch.blogspot.com/

check him out

rob pengson

chris cendana

If I Would Pick Jessica Zafra's Wedding Gown

2008-10-08T18:39:00.013+10:00

since i've dressed-up almost all of the girls of the RAINBOW BLOGGERS mansion, this time i want a real girl naman. sino pa...no other than the mother of all pinoy bloggers Ms. Jessica Zafra!

and since ms. vera is busy with her simply vera gig, dun pa rin tayo kay ate monique lhuillier.

gown 1 & 2

medyo dressy ang gown #1, baka pag na bore si ate jess e sa palda nya isulat ang next na twisted

medyo pageant-y naman ang gown #2, baka mas bet ni ate jess maging judge or interpreter, sayang no, kung di sana nag quit ang janina...

gown 3 & 4

ang gown #3 ay medyo girly, e woman na ang ate jess at medyo pang debut ba

ang gown #4 naman, pretty, pero baka sa church e may lumapit sa kanya at magpunas sa suot nya, mapagkamalan pa syang our lady of lourdes

eto na, ang para kay ate jess

this one is flow-y but not dressy, structured but light, the details are subdued, very feminine but not girly, non- traditional but not too eccentric...pwede rin sa buntis, not that buntis si ate jess

ang basa...

Seven of air
This is a month of overflowing ideas and intention.
You will plan something nifty and illicit this month—a distraction from the persistent whispers of the past. You will be caught though.
You will plan to retrieve something precious, alas, even if you get it back it will not be as precious as before.

Hierophant
You will make alliances this month and you need to forgive someone. This is not the month to be critical and restrictive.

Ten of Air
The stressful pace of the previous month will begin to slow up. Constraints that have been put upon you will be released.

Way- Shower
It’s a bright and promising month ahead. An ailing relationship will be in full bloom anew.

Jessica Zafra

Monique Lhuillier

Vera Wang

CFC Speaks Up & Your October Luck

2008-10-05T19:19:00.006+10:00

In the spirit of fairness, not the Lucy Torres paleness fairness, I am posting the comment left by a certain Mr. Raymond on the House Bill 5043 post to give it a chance to be read by others who commented earlier. It’s the last comment on the thread and the only one clearly supporting CFC’s opposition to the bill.

Attack na! Churv.

While it’s unlikely that a horny daughter would bother mom about her daytime itch let’s just say for the sake of argumentation that my bitch of a daughter comes to me and ask for a pill, I would hurriedly grab my D&G tote and the car key to visit the closest clinic and afterwards drive straight to a ravine… stupid momma, slut daughter, pill, dysfunction and all.

Come on, the case mentioned by Mr. Raymond has nothing to do with lawmaking than it is an eventuality of failed parenting.

You can’t say that Bill 5043 will turn daughters into whores. Hello…kitty!

What our SECULAR government is trying to do is address all options impartial to any moral paradigm.

P.S. Last time I checked the Philippines is still a republic not a papal state.

Anyway...

For the October pahula, please pick a card and I will make the basa on the next post.

Woof!

Extraneously Yours #6

2008-09-30T19:53:00.017+10:00

(things, events and etceteras na affected ako, but not so much, otherwise OA na yun, ayaw ni bes ng OA, siya lang dapat ang OA, everything’s perfect!)

1. Charlene Gonzales-Muhlach
...is happy that the public took her side (over STD queen Kris) when the 'pa-star' incident was reported in the papers:

“Nakakataba ng puso. I guess it means that I’ve planted good seeds through the years.”

You are most welcome. We’re proud that for years after the title you’ve consistently carried yourself with the dignity of a true binibini.

2. Sweet Semen

basta ba walang melamine

3. Aiken-Lohan Outing

Welcome to the club dears. Did you get your starter kit, the flag? We wish you the very best.

Eric Santos sana na inspire ka. Sabi nga nila, honesty flocks together. Churv!

4. Rafael Nadal's Butt?

I’m no big tennis fan (excuse the pun) but you might be.

5. Book I Want To Read

The Jewel of Medina

This Sherry Jones novel published by Gibson Square (UK) is a fictional take about a young bride of the Prophet Mohammad.

The book is sparking a lot of controversies. Three men were arrested in Britain under the terrorism legislation after a fire caught the Gibson Square offices last Saturday. US based Random House cancelled its publication.

6. Miss Venezuela Back to Back?

The Venezuelan ’09 trinity was crowned earlier this month.

And as expected, it's a trio to beat!

Will next year be the year Mr. Osmel Sousa retires? Mr. Souza—the Miss Venezuela guru aims a historical exit: the year a Venezuelan crowns a Venezuelan at the Miss Universe.

6. Trip to Thailand

This trip is long overdue. Then again, the timing couldn’t be more perfect especially with the economic turmoil and all. A diplomat friend in now based in Bangkok and he's offered his place.

Airfare… done.
Hotel expenses…none.

Sabi nga ni Miss Colombia: Everything’s perfect!

P.S.

remember this line?

"Well, my family’s role for me is so important b’coz there was the wa- they’re, they was the one who’s… very… Hahahaha… Oh I’m so sorry, Ahhmm… My pamily… My family… Oh my god… I’m… Ok, I’m so sorry… I… I told you that I’m so confident… Eto, Ahhmm, Wait… Hahahaha, Ahmmm, Sorry guys because this was really my first pageant ever b’coz I’m only 17 years old and ahahaha I, I did not expect that I came from, I came from one of the tough 10. Hmmm, so… but I said dot my family is the most important persons in my life. Thank you."

Janina San Miguel quits Miss World tilt

SUPPORT HOUSE BILL 5043

2008-09-27T15:12:00.009+10:00

“Help the poor...”

With what? Medical missions? Free foot ware? Free arroz caldo? Free Jolina concert? Far cry to what it takes to substantially address and manage the Philippine situation. Band aid can’t cure cancer.

We need to legislate sustainable solutions against poverty that’s been the worsening ailment of our great nation. What existing laws we have now are evidently ineffective.

We’ve constantly clamoured government action and here’s one of potency. Now they say that the Church's concerns weigh more than the empty bowels of millions of children, calloused hands and feet of underpaid labor force and disfranchised propriety of multiple generations of the present and the generations yet to come.

This is not a church versus state crap. The fact is, the constitution guarantees that the church shouldn’t even be an issue. This is about the laden populace and the prevention that they burden more.

Really, what does the Church suggest instead? Another prayer rally? Bother God anew to help us handle things that He's provided us with the capacity to deal with them?

What would kill us is our narrow-mindedness. What's really lethal is the deception by the powerful and the influential.

Sigh.

The bishops, the lawmakers, election 2010, blackmail... we’re witnessing Dan Brown’s next novel written before us.

SILA MUNA. PLEASE.

House Bill 5043

Emmy 08 Red Carpet

2008-09-24T23:03:00.014+10:00

I was feeling down and troubled and I needed a helping hand a few hours back but heaven is what i feel now. Two friends I haven’t seen in ages showed up with YM smileys. Pao and Anne, you guys are heaven sent. Pao, do find the best wine list there at the Fort, you have until January. And Anne, nothing in this world is without a taste. Hope that changes your stand against oral sex.

There.

My, my, I’m unaware of any major pageant held in September but darn, the girls at the 2008 Emmys trod the red carpet ala Miss Universe Top 10.

No major disaster this year. There goes fun! Sigh.

Okay, let’s get this over with.

Worst Dressed Runners-Up

Like what I’ve said, everyone’s rather prudent this year. Even Marcia Cross’s Elie Saab is not bad-worst but it’s not very easy on the eyes. It’s very reminiscent of Charlene’s Miss U ’94 gown.

Jeniffer Love Hewitt’s Carolina Herrera looks o.k. too but the disconcerting buntot pagi print is exactly that...disconcerting. Must be Steve Irwin’s ghost whispering about.

And our ate Christina De Rosa...parang pastillas wrapper na naka-pose. And what’s that on her grip? PVP Liner tickets?

And here to remind us to start shopping for our aguinaldos and wrap them fably with silvery ribbons for Christmas is just three menstrual cycles away... and the hair...parang may oil spill.

Eva Longoria: Marchesa

Meanwhile, the following are my top picks.

Nicollette Sheridan: Angel Sanchez
Cynthia Nixon: Calvin Klein
Olivia Wilde: Reem Acra
Vanessa Williams: Kevin Hall
Teri Hatcher: Monique Lhuillier

Woof!

Ang Ating Bahaghari

2008-09-23T19:33:00.007+10:00

My word!

The global RAINBOW BLOGGER PHILIPPINES http://rainbowbloggersphils.blogspot.com/ is now online.

We’re queer and we’re here, sabi nga nila.

Pop a Cristal and suck a dick!

A new avenue for the pink sheep in the family where life, love and laughs are the colors and where friendship and tolerance are the pots of gold.

Mag pa-fiesta! Mag novena sa pasasalamat! Mag pa pageant! Mag chinese garter! Mag pa putok! Anything to hail the rainbow!

Woof!

Bryan Miseducated, reporting live and gay from Port Moresby.

VIVA LA VIDA

2008-09-19T22:26:00.005+10:00

people are sick these days...their ipods reek of miley cyrus and jonas brothers

meanwhile...

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
Once you know there was never, never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become
Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest work
But that was when I ruled the world
(Ohhhh Ohhh Ohhh)

Hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter will call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
(Oooooh Oooooh Oooooh)

Download the mp3 format at:

VIVA LA VIDA

Viva La Vida

Cold Play

Book Twist: May-September 2008

2008-09-15T17:37:00.006+10:00

I haven’t done this for a while so here we are with a pile.

Finally, I’m done with the Dan Brown quartet. “Angels & Demons” remains my favorite (and we should watch out for it on the big screen) while I was deceived in spending my dollars on the ultra predictable and mega boring “Deception Point”. “Digital Fortress” is strongly recommended!

My fetish for Ivy leaguers (I almost dated one) rouses the more after “Eaters of the Dead”. There’s something about Harvard summa cum laude Michael Chichton’s story telling that makes you want to be at the very heart of his yarns—even at his cannibal-infested 10th century Scandanavia.

I did not exactly not graduated with honors but I struggled with Marquez’s Nobel Prize winning “Hundred Years of Solitude”. Combing through the repetitive bequeathed names, I almost forgot mine. I don’t think I am out of my league here, but I’ll stick to lighter reads.

The “500 People You Meet In Hell” is not funny. The only un-funny Jessica Zafra I’ve read. But of course, there’s no hating on our rimmed-spectacled blog guru.

I assume you expect me to love Kitty Go’s “When Chic Hits the Fan”. And you are darn right queridas! I decided that if I never get the chance to replace Anna Wintour or be the next Chelsea Handler… I don’t mind being the gay Kitty Go. Kitty Went sounds vindictive enough.

Read any Suze Orman book! Period.

From the pile, Winston Groom’s Forrest Gump is my top read. I’ve seen the movie a couple of times but my experience with the novel is a marvelous thing. From page to page I savored the spontaneity I seldom see work on my own life. Plus I wondered at one point…that maybe at core we are all idiots…

…

Nah! Most certainly not! But I’m sure all of my ex’s are—from core to toe!

Woof!

PA- STAR

2008-09-14T10:17:00.006+10:00

This week's nominee: Ms. Kris Aquino

For her moment of ka taklesahan anew. Her victim: the lovely Charlene Gonzales.

Sino ba ang mahilig sa may asawa?

Sino ba ang may STD?

Kung meron mang pa-star, hindi naman talaga maikakaila kung sino.

At kung ganda rin lang ang pag uusapan. Naman.

Ayan, nag tagalog talaga ako. Bawas sa IELTS points.

P.S. Did you know that there's a Kris Aquino hate page? No, it's not my creation but i'm not upset that there's one. http://www.ihatekris.tk/

Kris Aquino

Charlene Gonzales

Salamat

2008-09-13T12:57:00.004+10:00

sa lahat ng bumati, sa mga nag bake ng cake, sa nag organize ng surprise party (kahit na hindi ako na surprise), sa mga pumunta sa party, sa mga nagbigay ng gift, tumawag, nag sms... my deepest thanks...

next year 9-9-9 sa waldorf astoria ang handaan

churv!

again thanks!

Ina Ya Maaro

2008-09-08T18:11:00.004+10:00

inar-aro mi ka inang...

maligayang kaarawan...

P.S. Do visit the official website of Our Lady's Parish @ http://ourladyofmanaoag.org/

Our Lady of Manaoag

Crowded Closet

2008-09-07T18:54:00.008+10:00

Someone should take up the mentor's role for dear Bugoy. Rustom perhaps? Poor fairy, last night the gender issue was brought up again...live on national TV. I just couldn't hate on him despite the vehement denial of the very obvious. Sigh, sabagay si Kuya Germs nya e...si Roderick...si Butch...

Well, he doesn't know what he is missing. Like asking darn hot boys at your neighbourhood gym to give you a back scrub... (ask Butch)

Speaking of gym things and gay men...I wonder how you guys wrap thy botty when you visit our meccas?

Wrapped?

Semi Exposed?

Flaunting?

And never forget these:

Dolce & Gabbana

Post-Fuck You

2008-09-06T17:22:00.003+10:00

We do not want to perpetuate negativity. What we think about strongly will manifest in our lives. So fun muna tayo. Heto si Regine to sing us Narito Ako...

Fuck You!

2008-09-04T18:47:00.008+10:00

Lubid at Lupa

Hihiramin ba ang lumbay ng umaga

kung sa krimen ng kahapon ay wala ka

Kahapong sinlapit ng nakalimot na gabi

sa isang bulag na pagkakasala

Ang hakbang ba’y pabalik sa kalawakang bubog na may dantay ng lason

Lasong taksil sa pawis at luha

Aalayan ba ng rosal ang libingan ng mga buhay na bihag

Bihag at alipin na di na ma-amoy ang hiwaga ng pulang rehas

Mananatili bang itim ang belong burada ng ala-ala

Itim pa ba ang tema ng iyong dalangin

Sira na ang biyulin at pigtas na ang lubid ng duyan

Ngunit tila ang duyan parin ang kanlungan ng iyong tulirong damdamin

Anong kasabay ng iyong paos na himig

Himig ng iyong hikbing hanap ang mga punit na guhit ng byulin

Halika’t baybayin nating ang bangungot: tapang na tapakan ang mga bubog

Tumayo ka’t Ako at ako ay may paroroonan

Pulutin mo ang lubid na hinahagkan na nang giniginaw na lupa

Sa sapang dilaw doon lahat tayo’y magkita-kita

Di ba’t sa kahariang dagat ang hantungan ng bawat butil ng tubig

Libingnang may sumpa’t pangako nang muling pagkabuhay

Na ang tabang na tubig ay lilipas sa alat ng karagatan

Tubig at tubig, tubig din ang kalalagyan

Arok nawa ang pangitaing may bukadkad ng rosal at tiklop ng belo

Ang pagsunog sa lubid at paglimot sa biyulin

Anong lason man ang pumatay sa iyong maikling kasaysayan

Hiramin mo’t angkinin ang lumbay ng umaga

'nuf said, Bryan, 'nuf said

BAD FOOD and WHAT'S PLAYING

2008-09-01T18:25:00.007+10:00

Bes and I agreed to train to death and be in our ~~best~~ hottest shape ever. January 2009 is our pageant date. One-on-one, ganda sa ganda, muscle sa muscle, katawan sa katawan, abs sa abs, chest sa chest, triceps sa triceps, body fit kung body fit, extra small kung extra small…you get the idea.

wish lang namin kami yan

Despite of us and to keep things sensational we decided to keep our training tricks to ourselves. Kanya-kanyang gimik. Kanya kanyang inspiration. Pahabaan ng novena.

But we decided to share a few pointers just to rouse intimidation and infect each other with the itch of competition.

Here's what Miss USA (Bes) has to share:

10 CHOW HE WOULDN'T EVEN DARE TOUCH

1. French fries
2. Processed meat especially tocino
3. Bagoong and alamang (high daw sa nitrate)
4. Softdrinks (or what I call them sweetened carbonated soda)
5. Canned goods (di ba processed food din yun?)
6. Internal organs with high uric acid (ng animals siguro)
7. Taba ng talangka
8. Lechon and gravy
9. Margarine
10. Hotdogs (hindi titi)

Heto naman ang share ni Miss Venezuela (Me, hihi):

10 TRACKS HE CAN'T WORKOUT WITHOUT

1. Across The Universe- Fiona Apple (OST 'Pleasantville')
2. Umbrella- Rihanna (Miss USA 2008 Evening Gown Competition)
3. City of Blinding Lights- U2 (OST 'The Devil Wears Prada')
4. Just Dance- Lady Gaga (Miss Universe 2008 Swimsuit Competition)
5. Snow on the Sahara- Anggun (Ambassadress of Goodwill 2000 Evening Gown Competition)
6. Suddenly I See- KT Tunstall (OST 'The Devil Wears Prada')
7. Please Don't Stop the Music- Rihanna (Miss Earth 2007 Opening Number)
8. Shine- The Bond (Miss Universe 2003 Evening Gown Competition)
9. Victory- The Bond (Miss Universe 2003 Presentation of the Delegates)
10. Say It Right- Nelly Furtado (Miss Universe 2007 National Costume Presentation)

Galing ng Bading

2008-08-31T10:16:00.006+10:00

~~PANGET~~ CHARMING MAN AT BADING,
NAKAKAKANTA RIN

Pinoy Dream Academy finalist Bugoy is favored to win the grand prize.

We're proud of you sister!

n.b.

rewind ng kaunti...

Ang Pioneer

Mga Ladies in Waiting

This post is a contribution of my dear friend Ivana Federova Vega Lopez-Lacroix.

Bugoy Michael Cruz Pinoy Dream Academy Carlos Agassi Eric Santos

Divine Intervention

2008-08-27T17:22:00.009+10:00

Do you still remember our Q&A Portion with Jimmy six months back? Well, we never had the chance to do the "A" part since he hasn't showed up after he left Port Moresby last February. Hence, hindi kami makapag–taping.

Port Moresby's favorite hair dresser hasn't deserted us. No. Evil forces connived to prevent him from coming back!

Yes, my queridas, there are evil Filipinos in Port Moresby.

Evil sounds a tad strong a word? Not at all! Save for their mal-intent towards Jimmy, wouldn't you call people who use church collection to pay off their business debts evil? 'Divine intervention' can't get more tangible than that, huh.

We wonder if dear Bishop knows anything about this. It's too Dan Brown-esque, I tell you.

Anyway, Jimmy wholeheartedly apologizes to everyone.

To my church-going, non-evil queridas, prudence queridas, prudence…

speaking of no-good: this site hitherto Pro-One Philippines, No to Bangsamoro!

Isa lang dapat ang contestant natin sa Miss Universe! Woof!

Bangsamoro

Amang Lakay 1909-2008

2008-08-21T12:39:00.006+10:00

Dear Amang in heaven

We celebrate your life as it ends on earth

We mourn, not your death but our state of folly

We salute your gentle journey--ninety-nine years of gentle journey

In shame, we are left wondering how to wonder being

We'll sing of praises your life lived in years

We mourn ours living in ponders

We cease to lament well along

Until you welcome us again

As humble litters

At the gates of heaven

We love you Amang.

Ah! Surely nothing dies but something mourns!
-Lord Byron

August Fortune

2008-08-20T20:25:00.005+10:00

I’m not so certain if I ever mentioned it here that I’m into making hula. I am into making hula. So here’s a little gig we’re off to.

Below are four August tarot cards. Choose one.

State your choice at the comment box and I’ll post the readings over the next few days.

four of air

lady of fire

hermit

two of air

DeGeneres - De Rossi Nuptial

2008-08-18T12:50:00.006+10:00

I soooo love Ellen, and I'm soooo happy for her and Portia de Rossi.

Best Wishes Mga Kumpare!!

Ellen DeGeneres

Day Jobs, Affairs and Butts

2008-08-16T00:07:00.012+10:00

It's hell, I tell you.

As Bryan Miseducated's day job braves an extended audit season he could hardly find time for his beloved blog. He's soooooo not very fond of their auditors right now. But just to keep this page from going stale, here's something that he thinks is worth mentioning:

Querida Adriana’s retort to Leigh’s “Not everyone can have meaningless one-night stands.”:

"First of all, girls, 'one-night stands' are for sad little people who meet in Atlantic City casinos or Midwestern hotels. 'Hooking up' is what drunken sorority girls do after their spring formals. We have affairs. Fabulous, sexy, spontaneous affairs. Understood?"

from:

Chasing Harry Winston
Lauren Weisberger

(the author of The Devil Wears Prada)

Bet mo?

I wish everyone affairs galore for years to ~~cum~~ come!! Woof!

P.S.

i borrowed this from http://www.candysux.blogspot.com/

apparently, rumored closet queen Sam Milby exposed his rear on a local TV series

Chasing Harry Winston

Sam Milby

NAME THE ICON

2008-08-13T21:05:00.007+10:00

remember her?

maybe she can help...

still no clue, how about her?

oh come on, this is the give away...

It's Rainbow Brite!!

Rainbow Brite

I AM PRO FAMILY MANAGEMENT

2008-08-12T14:19:00.010+10:00

Eighteen year old Vivian is from a family of eight children. A product of poor public education, I inform rather than ridicule when I say she is not very smart. And her days at school with empty tummy were not of any help. Out of school and unemployed, she keeps her days busy dating, unlike her Kapuso mermaid-turned-human heroine who's snagged a wealthy CEO's son, an equally poor and a doubly stupid boy her age. And they plan to get married soon.

Had she been taught in school that the economics of marriage goes beyond renting a Aling Lilian's Creation wedding gown and an Bombay-financed fund for the wedding reception, perhaps Vivian and her stupid boyfriend would remotely consider dating each other off?

Vivian, had she been taught in school that having kids in the family meant more than just figuring out an anagram-ic three-name first name for her baby and a second Indian-(refinanced) christening expenses…why, we're talking about baby formula, the diapers, the visits to the pediatrician, the supplements and vaccines, a clean environment, recreation, a clean shelter—a house, employed parents…

Vivian should have been thought in school that the Filipino optimism "may remedyo" employed in child rearing is inadmissible. Refer to any adoption case and you will see that no righteous court will award any adoption to insufficiently capacitated adapters. While an impoverished lovers are awared leniency on the grounds of romance (i.e. 'against all odds' shit) the "may remedyo" mentality is ~~not fair~~ cruel to a child who have no voice nor a legislative right to choose parents who has "may remedyo na".

We must educate our Vivians and their hopefully not so stupid husbands-to-be that they must postpone bearing children until they can afford and able to rear them ~~for the long haul~~ at least until they finish school.

The church's bitter opposition against the proposed birth control legislation is tad disheartening than it is anything else. It might as well be a premature veto from God himself. My humble opinion is that we should all go back to schools and sustainably educate our Vivians about the economics of starting a family and nurturing it. We address the apparent issues on population not by suppressing it but by informing the next Filipino generation that a proper management of finances and time like good morals and values are basic in rearing a family.

There is nothing new what I'm saying here. But who knows… a naïve Vivian spending her idle afternoon ogling over his unemployed boyfriend's Friendster photos might accidentally end up here.

Olympic Gala

2008-08-07T21:58:00.021+10:00

premier wen invited the girls for the after-dinner ng beijing olympics opening

and since Monique Lhullier is closed for inventory, dumaan nalang kami kina kuya Elie Saab at dun ako namili

and to match the 8-8-8 ka churvahan ng china, eight pinays ang dadalo sa dinner na ito. at red kung red ang drama nila, e di red!

girl 1. si dra. mc fitch, since open heart surgeries are what come into my mind when doctors are mentioned, ito ang napili ko for dra. archie, plunging kung plunging ready na for incision

girl 2. si bes, but of course, itong si bes moment kung moment, kaya sige yan para sayo.

girl 3. super sweet niya everytime homer visits my blog, so i chose a sweet ensemble para sa kanya

girl 4. our slut princess, si lexan. i chose something na mabalot naman siya kahit paa lang because his blog is spilling with his nakedness

girl 5. lyka. when i saw this dress, it's so lyka, so malandi, so lyka.

girl 6. si ate mandaya. nag sms after she heard i'm off for shopping, ayaw daw niya ng red. ang pink daw is ka family ng red, ayuda pa ni kulot. e di pink!

girl 7. my idol momel. and to show off his fab tattoo:

girl 8. my new blog acquaintance ko si ron, kaya ala ako masyado masabi, but i'm sure ganda yung gown.

See you in Beijing!!

How not to write a comeback post. (see example below)

2008-08-05T20:27:00.012+10:00

popcorns are the most unlikely brain food. but popped cereal ears are exactly what my ortho-restrained teeth are working on this very moment hoping that they'd help me pen some fab comeback post.

a drizzle of salt and a slice of butter after...zilch!

no worries! i've queued up a few post after this...from a bit smart-assy book review to a jojo alejar oddity...

oh yes, the cliche...hiatus. i was offline for a while due to some technical problems. my wifi provider is one of the worst in the world but their incompetence was a timely one as i:

1. got to catch up with my reading. and by golly i'm hooked with a fab read. (see below)

2. found time to bling search (and an eventual purchase)

3. had time to replace my phone, (which SHOULD be, recession or otherwise, a semi-annual thing)

i missed you all!

woof!

Pure Vs. Mature

2008-07-16T23:11:00.004+10:00

First pressing of olives gives you extra-virgin olive oil. For extra virgin olive oil, the rule of thumb is never use it when high heat is involved. While it is perfect for salads and dressings, frying and sautéing burns-off the good stuff that you paid extra for.

Meanwhile, refining and blending produces the type of olive oil that is good for flame-required cooking.

With olive oil and love, the pressing issue (re: pure vs. mature) is more on appropriateness than on preference.

If one prefers to date them young, thinking that you’ll get pure love off them, then one should expect something wispy like a Ceasar salad...fresh and light but not the stuff that makes you feel you’ve eaten enough...unlike a deep fried lechon kawali.

With regards to us turning 29 this year thus dating younger boys is up on our game plan...bes, speak for yourself.

Bad metaphors I can afford, bad dates...No!

Iconography at Miss Universe

2008-07-15T12:56:00.006+10:00

I told you so.

But the brightest star at the pageant was Riyo.

Even the most zealous did not see that coming...Riyo uncrowned and power dressed in a tuxedo when the moment calls for her to shine for the last time.

The message is as subtle as it is classy. A true universal woman can present herself separate from the crown and gown...that she is Riyo who wants to be remembered as Riyo the Woman and not Riyo the Beautiful...and for her, a titled year is a year among years of life straight ahead or along empowering curves.

---

Bryan Miseducated for the Miss Universe 2008 coverage, signing off.

Dayana Mendoza- Miss Universe 2008

2008-07-15T00:11:00.002+10:00

told you so...

anyway, what are your thoughts on the following:

1. Dominican Republic's gown.

2. Ngipin ni Russia.

3. Bangs ni Japan.

4. Hair ni Kosovo.

5. Revival: gown ni Russia (Oxana)

6. Back to back: USA nadulas 07 & 08.

7. Zero take home si Philippines.

8. Buhok ni Scary Spice.

9. Mexico's gown.

10. The girl who performed during the swimwear competition.

Bryan Miseducated Smiles at Ms. Mori

2008-07-14T00:01:00.009+10:00

'Was a wonderful job Riyo...

As for the girls vying for the crown...

"Miriam didn't lose. She was 1st runner up. Defeat is when someone else is deemed a winner. Winning is believing you won and that you will always do."

-Bryan Miseducated

speaking out loud after watching Miss U 1999

"Miss India! Ready ka na sa perfect 9 IELTS score!"

-Bes

his reply to BM's comment mentioned above

Riyo Mori

Miss Universe

Off to Vietnam for the Miss U 2008

2008-07-12T19:19:00.012+10:00

by:

Pre-Fall 2008 Collection

The girls are attending the Miss U coronation at Nah Thrang and I volunteered to dress them up.

For Acey, very subtle corporate chicness ala sponsor ng pageant:

For Jericho, something to brighten up his rather melancholic posts:

For Ate Lyka, dahil mahilig siyang mag show-off ng flesh:

For Mrs. J, something semi-reserved kasi nga misis na siya:

And for Bes, dahil sa laki ng ipinayat ng puta:

At dahil nahuling nagpa-confirm si Kiks at Diablo, si Rene Salud na raw bahala sa kanila.

Laws Against Homophobia

2008-07-09T21:33:00.006+10:00

A short break from Miss U...

Vienna: Tougher laws are needed to combat homophobia in the European Union, a new report says, urging leaders across the 27-nation bloc to grant same-sex partnerships the same rights and advantages as married couples. Lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transsexuals enjoy significant legal protections in only 18 member states, the Vienna-based EU agency for fundamenatal rights said yesterday. "Equal treatment is a fundamental right that all members of our society should enjoy," the agency said, calling homophobia and discrimination "a cause of concern for us all". Better use of EU-wide criminal legislation could tamp down homophobic hate speech and hate crime, it said.

-Associated Press

no, these girls ARE girls, Dayana of Venezuela and Elisa from Mexico

Miss Universe

BRYAN MISEDUCATED FOR MISS VENEZUELA

2008-07-07T20:32:00.005+10:00

TODO NA TO!!

thank you bes for the t-shirt

Miss Universe

MISS U TOP 5: BESTFREN VS ME

2008-07-03T23:14:00.014+10:00

We've known each other since kindergarten and were both turning 29 this year. That long na... we might as well be the Wonder Twin brothers. What's interesting is that while we sync perfectly almost all the time, our preferences over things aren't always complimentary.

On fashion; Bes is into Urban Chic while I'm into Gothic Churva.

On dining: Arroz caldo sa kanto vs. Truffles.

On men: Crush ng Bayans who are into anime vs. Older men with yachts.

And since the Miss Universe fever is surging up to tipos level... let's see what I and bes' top 5 are.

Bes: 1. USA 2. VENEZUELA 3. COLOMBIA 4. MEXICO 5. THAILAND

Bryan Miseducated:

5. COLOMBIA

4. BRAZIL

3. MEXICO

2. PUERTO RICO

1. VENEZUELA

Miss Universe

Thank You for the Music??

2008-06-28T08:36:00.006+10:00

No shopping malls, no cinemas, no bathhouses, no Starbucks...
Punye*** ni wala ngang Cindy's e...ni Seven Eleven or Watsons nothing!...
So after watching this...
We seek you to understand our situation...
Why we allow dreadful things to happen...

Daanin ulit natin sa votes!

2008-06-26T18:54:00.009+10:00

Alas! Walang Miss Photogenic sa Miss U this year...

But hush dear sisters...internet votes na ang Best in National Costume...

Kaya kahit parang Home Economics project ang get up ng lola Jenniffer at bunos na if she makes it to the semi's... vote na nang may ma-iuwi naman tayo this year.

http://www.nbc.com/

Miss Universe

All Star

2008-06-25T23:26:00.002+10:00

Read this from somewhere:

'In the night sky, some stars may appear to be more luminous than others, but it's the perspective of the distances which separate them that create this illusion. We're all bright in our own way, and to compare these degrees of light is often to trivialize ourselves - and consequently life - in an arbitrary and relative way. Certainly over time this leads to a condition where competition and cooperation swing into and out of balance, tempered only by the friction of boredom or our joyful liberation from it.'

— Nathan Johansen

Miss Philippines wins Miss Smile

2008-06-24T21:56:00.003+10:00

Ahaha!

Sa suot palang niya, kahit ako mapapa-smile.

The New Miss Universe Crown is Ugly

2008-06-21T13:58:00.007+10:00

This week's nominee: The Miss Universe Organization.

For replacing the divine Mikimoto crown

with an ala-Miss Gay Catbalogan wiry monstrosity

"The curved design creates a natural rhythm and a stable structure for the crown, symbolizing the spirit of unity. The crown combines the beauty and the character of each nation, accomplishing the goal of the pageant, which is international unity", paliwanag nila.

Ewan!

Miss Universe

Papa's Day

2008-06-15T17:38:00.002+10:00

Syemps, ibang papa ang ibig kung sabihin.

The office of the “Father” in our household has been vacated five years odd now.

We love our dad of course and we send him the most loving greetings in our prayers.

This year I’m skipping an actual Hallmarky post for dear dad. It is not because I love him less this year but because I wish to share my greetings to the other fathers as well.

No, there aren’t any new dads in the family just yet but for the past five years there are people who have touched my life and my siblings’ lives the way dad had.

1. Mommy. Despite her Annabelle-ish regime…

2. My Maternal Grandparents & Titas. Beyond the US dollars and Balikbayan Boxes they send...

3. My Paternal Grandpapa, Titas & Titos. The values and love they consistently exemplify…

4. My Cousins. Their love for their Uncle Kid has unfailingly and unconditionally extended to us…

5. My Ultimate Bestfriend and Vice Bestfriends. The company, love, cries and laughter…

6. Greet My Breast Lid. The love and care, despite of all my shortcomings…

After Papa’s death we remain blessed that God has guaranteed us with limitless source of love from all of you. Thank you and happy father’s day to you all.

The Port Moresby I-Glitterati Series: A Lancome Lesson

2008-06-13T17:32:00.007+10:00

Port Moresby's club scene is as hard core as an Avon Ladies' pineapple and gin punch party with lots of Sean Paul, Bob Marley and whatnots. Nonetheless, I try to be reasonable and I allow a tempolabile 'on the town' enthusiasm.

My gullibility was at its highest when a South American dance troupe hit our betel nut-red town but only because the show promised half naked samba men. So off we went. At the door, a scent of foreboding lingered on the air. The kind when signature perfume mixes with social climbers' sweat. I dismissed it and we went in anyway. Alas, a throng of the equally-gullible mail-order-bride Filipinas swarmed the club.

There is no way these ~~gold d~~ people were to miss this. This was like an excursion. An educational trip where our sisters--tired of their rich, first world, slob husbands-- get the chance to see what young omentum-less flesh is like.

While binging on an –ita I can't remember which, a disconcerting whiff enveloped the VIP lounge which almost knocked me off. Pre-nausea "It’s like the perfumes rich matrons na umuupo sa mga pews closest sa altar ng church" I struggled to note.

A non-Tagalog accent thicker than Brooke Shield's brows protested "Lancome yun. That’s expensive. It’s on magazines."

I looked back and found the source of the auditory-sickening thickness but I stared past her and waved at someone who had a decent amount of clothing on and at least 240 units of collegiate subjects on her transcript.

Embarrassed, Mrs. Wife-of-an-Octogenarian went asking around on a litany of "Sino ba siya?" and "Ano ba sya, mayaman ba?" and other indecipherable blabbers.

Perhaps after being told by someone of candor that unlike her I didn't have to marry with my vagina her litany abruptly succumbed to Bob Marley's "No Woman, No Cry". The protestation, the faux foreign/dialectical accent and the odor withered along.

Later, we found her with one of the samba men reluctantly dancing with her.

Mrs. Octogenarian who is omnipresent on every Port Moresby party ever planned is formerly Mrs. Japanese Logging Company and before that she was Mrs. Korean Spare Parts dealer. Her resume boasts 6 years of folk ~~whori~~ dancing in a foreign country.

By the way, I'm exaggerating on the Avon party…only the Avon party and only slightly.

The POM I-Glitterati Series is a generous contribution of my dear friend Ivana Federova Vega Lopez-Lacroix.

Port Moresby

Taray ni Kathy

2008-06-13T00:01:00.001+10:00

This week's nominee is: Ms. Katherine Heigl for her "I don't deserve an Emmy" ka churvahan.

I like her...but i'm not sure I like her attitude over her refusing an Emmy nomination (or a refusal to seek one, as noted by buzzers).

Heigl won her 1st Emmy for her role as an emotional intern in the medical drama series Grace Antomy.

"I did not feel that I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination and in an effort to maintain the integrity of the academy organization" churva niya.

Oh come off it Kat!

other nominees:

http://miseducated-virgin.blogspot.com/2008/04/nomination-week-2008-miseducated-awards.html

Free from what?

2008-06-12T23:00:00.004+10:00

110 years after and what?

happy

independence

day

Hay!

New Wonders Update

2008-06-10T20:38:00.007+10:00

Before you go rushin' casting your vote for Miss Photogenic don't you dare neglect your duty to your country, hala ate vote na!

http://www.new7wonders.com/nature/en/liveranking/

No Air!!

2008-06-09T20:15:00.005+10:00

Naku Kuya bitawan mo na, no air na.

by: Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown

If I should die before I wake
It's 'cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air

I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
If there was a way that I can make you understand

But how do you expect me
To live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus:]
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew
Right off the ground to float to you
There's no gravity to hold me down for real

But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my breath, but I survived
I don't know how, but I don't even care

So how do you expect me
To live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus]

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No more
It's no air, no air

[Chorus x2]

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air

lurv this song! sabi nga ni miss villamil...so very!

So Very

2008-06-05T22:22:00.004+10:00

Excerpt from:
University of Luzon opens in June . . . in Pozorrubio!
by Jing Villamil

"It is housed in a new and sturdily built three-storied building with fields and trees surrounding, the wind blowing through its wide-open windows, and in case the air is still and hot, a provision for air-conditioning. It stands astride the national highway, beside the Petron station, just a stone’s throw away from the Cablong crossing, thus so very accessible to Sison, Binalonan and other nearby towns."

What if it's time to go?

2008-06-05T12:37:00.006+10:00

I write to wish you a safe trip. I am traveling soon as well. My new visa will be issued in a few weeks and I need to exit the country before that transpires. At the rate immigration people are dealing with working visas I might have to wait at most 10 weeks to have it all sorted out. I am taking this opportunity to have a really long rest and perhaps even pen the draft of my graduate thesis that's long overdue so I'm planning to append 2 months of unused leave on top of my waiting for the visa...and maybe even longer.

I didn't mention it last night not only because I didn't think it was the concoction of a crowd I'd be comfortable talking about it but also because I didn't want to make it sound like a goodbye which just to mention, I am never good at.

Accept my apologies for not arranging a send off dinner with our friends for the reason that I deal with valedictions as melodramatically as much as the rest of the 90 million Filipinos do. But then again, as I have said, this isn't a farewell.

Rudeness, I say for doing this in a letter. Correspondences should never windup friendships in the same way that time should never consume the extant of any mate-ship. But it is the only drama-proof way to do this—this pseudo ciao.

Again, I wish you a safe trip.

Should the non-circumspect undertones of this letter ring louder than the text, my declaration holds truer: the friendship will be treasured dearly.

I loan from Mr. Manilow: down the road, we'll see each other again.

I remain,

Bryan Anthony

WHAT IF??

Problem Solving

2008-06-03T12:16:00.004+10:00

We all have a crush on him, this Coco Martin in our office. Alas, halfway through his one-year contract he resigned citing health problems.

Coco Martin

Yesterday I was reduced to scavenge through Mr. Coco look-alike's files looking for a software he never managed to return. Admittedly, I was scanning through a few of his mail print-outs hoping that an indiscreet sentence or two will shed light to my suspicion that he is gay.

Accidentally I came across this:

'When I was 13 years old, my hair was black & thick & beautiful, many people always praying me because of my hair, but one day my sister bring me to hair sallon to burm hair, because of the cheap hair solution, have spoil my hair, the hair solution plus burm hair only cost me about P200.00, but there are 12 years ago, now my drop everyday, i was so sad, and one suddenly my hair become reddich colour, is it because of the work pressure.

Could you please help me to solve my problem.'

I guess he's straight after all.

Farewell Mr. Saint Laurent

2008-06-02T12:29:00.003+10:00

Yves Henri Donat Dave Mathieu-Saint-Laurent

1936-2008

"I have often said that I wish I had invented blue jeans: the most spectacular, the most practical, the most relaxed and nonchalant. They have expression, modesty, sex appeal, simplicity - all I hope for in my clothes."

--Yves Saint Laurant

Pa Cheese Burger!

2008-06-01T16:37:00.004+10:00

I do get half a dozen of commercial-free Filipino channels from my cable subscriptions (I have two) in Port Moresby.

So I ask you to pardon me...when my friends Pat and Nhur were chuckling over an apparent private joke about a cheese burger, I was forced to thinking they meant this:

I assume too much.

Yucky.

2008-05-26T19:41:00.009+10:00

photo displayed is not suitable for viewing for children under 18. please leave this site if you find the photo offending.

This will be a short one.

Imagine two lusty men: one fills a condom with his cum and the other one drinks the darn thing.

Sure, I've seen it on porn and I am not exactly unfamilliar of its sodium-tasting (except when one drinks alot of pineapple juice) and chlorine-smelling properties. But to swig it up like a Yakult drink...I swear (in the most annoying Ruffa Guttierez way of saying 'I swear') it's yucky! Next time you do it again... Please, I don't really need to be told.

photo from wikimedia.com

You who kisses-gulps-and tells... lab ya still. Attract!

Miss U na!

2008-05-23T21:34:00.003+10:00

Idol is over na... Nha Trang is up next to own the spot light.

So make sure memorize mo pa ang oath natin:

"We, the young women of the universe, believe people everywhere are seeking peace, tolerance and mutual understanding. We pledge to spread this message in every way we can, wherever we go."

Mabuhay!!

Pooft!

2008-05-11T21:25:00.000+10:00

Sooo much to write about but can't pen a word.

Shoeeot!

Rampa Pinas

2008-04-30T10:04:00.004+10:00

Bryan Miseducated

Location: Philippines

Mission: Maghanap ng mga bottom

Mission History:

NAIA 1900 hrs 29 Apr 08.

MOA 1800 hrs

Laffline 2000 hrs

Bed (as in kama, not the bar...alone, shi*) 0800 hrs 30 Apr 08.

Feeling mo wonder of nature ka? Vote Na!!

2008-04-26T14:42:00.006+10:00

I'm sure all of you know about this:

Dinaan natin yan sa Internet votes.

Kung kinaya natin yan, aba kaya rin natin ito:

Hala, mag vote na!!

http://www.new7wonders.com/

Ngayon na bakla, ngayon na. Baka mauna pa si Miss Costa Rica!

Crap Marathon, Life Can Be A

2008-04-26T13:18:00.003+10:00

i'm doing this self help things. among many things i need to remember this mantra:

talk straight

how about if i sing it?

Empty by Cranberries

Mariahian Empire

2008-04-25T18:02:00.006+10:00

The Empire State Building will be lit up pink, purple, and white from Friday, April 25 through Sunday, April 27, 2008...

for...

M A R I A H
C A R E Y

The most sucessful female artist of all time!!

Mariah Carey

Nomination Week- 2008 Miseducated Awards

2008-04-24T12:40:00.007+10:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you:

Head surgeon Philips Leo Arias;

Assistant surgeons Angelo Linawagan and Max Joseph Montecillo;

Nursing attendant Rosemarie Villareal; and

Circulating nurse Carmina Sapio.

They are officially nominated for the 2008 Miseducated Awards for their exemplary ethical standard during the Cebu perfume-canister-rammed-up-one's-ass operation.

They share this prestigious honor with fellow nominee Ms. Gretchen Baretto. Miss Barreto's disconcerting contribution to the music industry earned her her first nomination.

Cebu Doctors

Gretchen Barreto

Super China

2008-04-21T19:01:00.008+10:00

China is posed to overtake Germany's position as a top economic power.

Not only that, China has overtaken Phlippines on beauty matters too.

China climed three notches after Miss Tong He (laban ka sa name?) placed second to Miss Peru during the 2008 Miss Tourism International.

Having a half wit Binibini vying for Miss World, what chances do we have of grabbing our post back?

TEST

2008-04-20T17:18:00.000+10:00

I'm blogging with my hp ipaq pda.

... is it working?

Funny Ellen

2008-04-14T20:27:00.005+10:00

I'm probably one of the last Ellen fan to read this:

I found it at an ukayan here in Port Moresby. What's that I said, I ukay? Naman.

"If you are a person who has chosen not to have sex, you're not a celebrity--you're a celibate. Now I'm sure there are may benefits to being celibate, though the only two that spring to my mind are: one, you probably become better at other things, like, for instance the Jumble or remembering Star Trek trivia; and two, I would imagine you don't have to change your sheets quite so often."

Ellen De Generes

Clutches and Pouchettes by Monique Lhullier

2008-04-13T12:30:00.000+10:00

I was feeling generous the other day so I went buyin' nice things for my blog sisters.

I was thinking bags. Bags that they can fill with at least a kilo of NFA rice should worse come to worst.

So off I went to ate ML.

To match Goddess' boa constrictive beauty...

an Audrey python bow clutch.

For royalties like Bryan Boy...

an Audrey satin bow clutch.

A testament to Lyka's dote on ball bearings and their likeness...

a Marilyn pearl pouchette.

To compliment Mrs. J's reptilian glow...

a Sophia caiman pouchette.

I'll do shopping for Kiks, Mandaya, Reyna and others sometime soon.

Woof!

Abangan natin!

2008-04-12T17:53:00.005+10:00

My grandma keeps on reminding me that her ancestors are of royal descent...mga pre-hispanic royalties of Pangasinan like Princess Urduja...kaya relate ako dito...

Grandmas don't make up these things naman dba?

Go, go, go long-dead cousin princess!

Hail Mariah!

2008-04-11T08:03:00.007+10:00

If the Beatles shares among themselves their #1's, that leaves 5 hits each for Ringo, Paul, George and John. So technically Mariah reigns supreme with her 18 #1's in the US Billboard charts!

Mimi outnumbered Elvis' 17 #1's after her single "Touch My Body" from her latest album E=MC2 topped the charts.

Hail Mariah full of breasts, the airwaves is with you!

Woof!!

Mariah Carey

Pageant Season's On

2008-04-10T17:48:00.010+10:00

Tonight the pageant season officially sets off with the coronation of the new Miss Tourism Queen International. Hurrah!

Not so much hurrahs for beloved Philippines though. I'm no expert but if an aching molar is bringing me down I'd see a dentist not join a pageant.

Krystle Ann Dizon

I googled to death looking for a more flattering photo of Ms. Dizon but this is the best the web came up with. Sigh...I've seen prettier university belt xerox girls who are (curiously) mostly lesbians during my SLU days.

Well, it's not over until it's over. Tonight might crown another Pinay queen to help revive our fading pageant reputation...extremely unlikely but extreme miracles do happen.

P.S.

Faves:

ChileVenezuela

Are You an Eyeore or a Tigger?

2008-04-06T22:20:00.004+10:00

I didn't get invited to go yachting today but Hallmark Channel is running an Oprah marathon so I am fine. Fine turns better after watching an episode about a university professor dying of pancreatic cancer giving his last lecture.

His lecture is so touching and inspiring I wish everyone I care for hears it too.

Ramiele Lands on 9th Place

2008-04-03T22:06:00.007+10:00

A bigger stage awaits you Ramiele. And we'll be there again cheering on.

Congratulations!

Love and lots of hugs,
Port Moresby's Betel Nut Five + Leno

Ehem!

2008-04-01T13:52:00.006+10:00

I'm back!

At kasama ko si Gabby Conception! Chus!

Basta I'm back na.

New post ~~by tomorrow~~ over the next few days.

Say hi nalang muna to my new toy. Chus ulit!

Bryan Blog, Year 2.

2008-03-08T12:57:00.003+10:00

At the very core, blogging is about sharing. Another mechanism man has come up with in his perpetual attempt to be un-alone…

Thank you to everyone who has been part of this blog. The infinite expanse is otherwise a home.

I hope that in my own little but never subtle ways I’ve kept you entertained and informed perhaps even kept you a part of something.

Salamat.

Gretchen Barreto vs Ramielle Malubay

2008-02-29T13:12:00.007+10:00

The first time I learned about it I cringed. Dismissed it as one of them sick urban legends. But when I actually heard you sing, I just had to blog about it. "Save the wayward Barreto sister, save the world", I prayed.

Greta...no. You can't sing. Pronouncing the words sweetly is what you do in phonetics class. Hitting the notes right is another thing.

I wonder if you are alright.

Maybe you should start a hobby. SCandle making perhaps?

She however can...

Ramielle Malubay

Gretchen Barreto

A Very Cautious 2008

2008-02-26T21:17:00.008+10:00

Not much transgressions this year. Even my worst is not so bad.

Too editorial.

Pang Mrs. Pozorrubio.

Sorry sis Lyka.

Remembering birth dates

2008-02-18T12:54:00.006+10:00

Dear Sis,

I did not forget your birthday yesterday. Truth is, for non-familial reasons I will NEVER forget your birthday or at least not your birth date.

Manong is unwell.

'Know what sis, I see me in you. While your other manong shares my comedy you however, mirror my dramatic tendencies and pensiveness. I'm even writing about this. How does that read on the drama meter?

A whip of neurosis got the better of me. I was worried if I call and do the sing-song greetings that you'd take the hint from my voice despite my ISO-certified P.R. joviality that could mask a thousand feelings. I'm afraid this one is beyond guise and I don't want to ruin your day.

I'll land on my foot-spa deprived feet soon. So don't you worry a bit.

Happy birthday sis!

I Remain,
Manong Bryan

P.S
I hope you enjoyed spending my present.

Fillers...While Bryan's out of Sync

2008-02-17T18:45:00.004+10:00

i got this from spells4free.com

love spell for dummies

What you need:
2 red candles
1 white candle
1 photo of the person you love
cinnamon powder
a ginger root
7 incense

It is better if you can start the spell on a friday, to take advantage of Venus' attraction.

Place the white candle on a table between the 2 red candles, with your lover's picture against the white candle.

Make a ring of cinnamon powder around the 3 candles and place the ginger root beneath the table.

Place the incense inside the ring. Light the candles and the cinnamon powder. Say these words: "Spirits out, spirits in, my lover feels the breathe of love"Concentrate at least 10 minutes on all your wishes (i recommend you to prepare a list of your wishes before you start the spell) Say the sentence again and blow the candles off.

Let the incense consumes until the end.

Repeat this ceremony during 7 days, until next friday.

If you have such an opportunity, make your lover drink a tea with honey each of the 7 days.

When you are done with the 7 days ceremony, burry the ginger root.

try mo???

I Don't Have a Valentine Post

2008-02-14T00:13:00.010+10:00

I dug deep. I swear. I even baked cinnamon crumble muffins to keep me company all night in my bid to pen down a jasmine-sweet romantic tale of me and my fictitious lover or to be more realistic an account of a wasteland that is my love life. All I have now is a bloated tummy, an emptied plate and a blank page.

My thoughts are stirred by the apparent defeat of Madam Clinton on the primaries. I really am for a lady president in the house.

So, babati nalang ako to those who don't mind being wished a happy hearts day. Bati!

Woof!

Hillary Clinton

Valentine

Sexy Told Straight

2008-02-11T23:50:00.000+10:00

I was asked to write about the sexiest blogger in my roll...and they mean it non-anatomically.

Bakeeet?

"Ma-effort kayo ha", I complained.

"Fuck-off", I was politely told.

"And also with you", I replied respectfully.

I went ahead without them and here's Bryan Miseducated's sexiest blogmate:

http://ninoy07.blogspot.com/

He's got it goin on. Too bad I'm distantly taller.

Rx

2008-02-10T10:45:00.000+10:00

Dear Mr. Ledger,

I spoke to your pharmacist.

I heard all you needed was a good sleep.

I heard all you wanted is to be fleetingly freed of anxiety.

I heard all you wished for is to be a tad less sad.

I wish for all these too.

Is it any better there?

Prescription-less,
Bryan

Half Life

2008-02-08T00:39:00.000+10:00

Dear friend Carl,

Other than this blog, there is nothing else to tell about my life. Truth is, since 2003 I stopped living.

For five years now I live my everyday to accomplish a lone end: to earn for my family's subsistence.

From day one to today I look forward to finally bid my goodbye to everyone I know in Papua New Guinea. Until then my life is nothing more, probably even less than what is half of it. There is nothing sadder than what is half of a banality and very few like sad stories.

Sad to be so nega and ma-emote mode,
Bryan

My First Bob Ong: Ang Paboritong Libro ni Hudas

2008-02-04T18:22:00.000+10:00

He is not funny. He is a moralist incognito.

His way of telling stories has the charm reminiscent of the quintessential high school alpha male who thrives in annoying pretty girls.

I like his mini-book. I guess Melanie Marquez knows what she was talking about after all. About not judging people as they are not books.

Bob Ong

I Fashion, Therefore I Am #0003

2008-01-27T23:10:00.002+10:00

The Academy Awards is just around the corner. So I took the girls for shopping to help them pick their red carpet ensembles. After an exhausting week and a night at a gay bar, finally the work's a kaput. We even decided to get all patriotic by supporting our beloved Cebuana designer Ms. ML.

Office girl type yet royalty-ish. Reyna Elena in corporate glam.

Engaging and lively. Lyka in a springtime on layered tool.

Leadership material. Kiks' declarant silk jersey.

Pageant enthusiast. Mrs. J's clean and fluidy champagne colored number.

Pastry guru. Mandaya's double bishop sleeves polka frock.

Gowns from Monique Lhuillier Spring 2008 prêt-à-porter collection.

Monique Lhuillier

What's Wrong With the Frenzy Condom Commercial?

2008-01-27T23:10:00.000+10:00

Nada!

Banana flavor is the apposite choice!

Come on people, if 15-year old kids can create Friendster profiles I'm sure they know that condoms stand in between penises and vaginas for a reason and not a badge to shag around as them narrow minded morality warriors are worried and griping about.

This antediluvian thinking is reeking of hypocrisy. Millions of Filipino children will sleep unfed tonight. Worry about them instead.

Frenzy Condom

HOMOPHOBIA IN FACEBOOK

2008-01-26T07:57:00.000+10:00

"Yes, its still taboo here in the Philippines. But you know what, I used to work for Philippine TV and I can say that "gay" people are in control of our media. Watch our local movies and TV shows. Did you know that most of them were produced and written by these people and it has been going on for decades. Yes, they too are to blame for our lame movies and commercial model actors. All flash but no substance.Don't let the "liberal" media tell you how to think and feel. Wrong is wrong; don't ever let them convince you that "it's okay because its popular and feels right." I feel sorry for the generations of our people raised up into tolerating such abominations. We are supposed to be a "Christian" nation. Homosexuals holding a rosary won't mix.Just being real about it.

We are in deep need of "real" men and women in our shaky society."

This is the newest topic being discussed at Facebook's Philippine Network.

Get an account and post your sentiments over there as gay bashing is sooo frequent. I'm outnumbered but that's more than just a personal snag, underrepresentation gives them the impression that we're a minority not to be taken seriously.

Homophobia