un-blogable
January 29, 2009


30 things I need to do before I turn 30

1. make a manual car run and not hit anything

2. learn to change tires

3. keep my hands off my savings

4. re-learn Espanol

5. re-learn François

6. eat less

7. date a band member preferably a lead vocalist

8. wear fit a pair of skinny jeans

9. gyrate on a ledge one last time

10. resize my waist to 29 (3 inches to go)

11. knot a cherry stalk with my tongue

12. … learn to write

13. … no shitty enumerations

14. … be ashamed, be very ashamed in thinking that this page is still a legit blog

15. avoid slangs i.e. legit

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 1/29/2009 | 7 comments

Busy pa ang Futa
January 21, 2009

some evidence


me and bes at the most unlikely place you'd find us
the divas galivanting in laguna




incognito kunwari
soonest!

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 1/21/2009 | 11 comments

Not Yet
January 07, 2009
Tons of fun I tell you, tons of fun!

I'll try to be here on Monday with a tale to tell.

Meanwhile, I'm probably the last person to see this but it's sooo funny I'm saving it a space here at Bryan Miseducated.




Sooner!

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 1/07/2009 | 12 comments

Of Ex's
November 19, 2008
BFF insists that I write about the not so recent tragedies suffered by my consistently calamitous romantic life but there is nothing to write about.


We’ve all heard, read, seen, experienced this classic break-up template; one takes himself the victim of a cruel conspiring world and the other—the mastermind of it all, set and smeared with the details of typical novella the materials of which are better hidden from GMA or ABS least they corrupt it into another tacky D-rate melodarama (and heaven forbid, starring Ara Mina).



Unfortunately for BFF, both calamities are sooo of this model. So, there’s nothing unprecedented for a little show and tell.


I echo BFF’s words: “I need to survive to keep living because I want to find out how my story ends”. That is exactly what I intend to do. Thing is bes, melancholy is losing its voice here at Bryan’s. But I promise we’ll chat about it, over coffee in Bali perhaps?


I am not a very religious person, but I love Jesus. And I never fail to thank him for all the good things in my life. When you lose men who turned out to be worse than mad dogs, then there’s no arguing that that is a super blessing. So, thank you, thank you.

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 11/19/2008 | 27 comments

TOMMY LIKES MEN
October 29, 2008

Port Moresby jeweler and friend Es introduced me to the olfactory joy of perfume mixing. She’s so fab she throws in a crash course in scent fusing for every bling purchase you make.

Her philosophy behind perfume mixing which also stands as her excuse for hoarding things she sees in Vogue is that a perfume is a mixture of stuff and to fuse two or more perfumes together wouldn’t exactly result to a nuclear fallout. Hmmm…

Anyway before you start concocting your parfum one needs to master two things:
1. eaus (parfums, toilettes and cologne), and your
2. bases (oil and alcohol)
And you are off to seducing the closet case from the IT department with your personalized potion!


Try my TOMMY LIKES MEN for starters. You’ll need:

Tommy Girl
Diesel Masculine
A discreet place to meet him
Discreet-er maneuver where you could pull him close enough and long enough to get a whiff of you

Spray generously maintaining a 2:1 Tommy to Diesel spray ratio.

Your whiff should resemble the concoction of Mr. IT’s St. Scho girl’s virginal aroma and the muskiness of his Fitness First buddy.


If fused properly the resulting scent guarantees you a date until Christmas tops and if you’re into leather and whips perhaps he’ll even let you pass the firewall for porn access.

Blah!

P.S.
Who would have known aroma therapy really works and darn spa owners weren’t ripping us off. I was blending scents the next day and Es’ little hobby kept me calm while trying to figure out how in hell to pay for them stones.

P.S. 2
I’m writing shit again. Help!

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 10/29/2008 | 24 comments

Extraneously Yours #6
September 30, 2008
(things, events and etceteras na affected ako, but not so much, otherwise OA na yun, ayaw ni bes ng OA, siya lang dapat ang OA, everything’s perfect!)

1. Charlene Gonzales-Muhlach
...is happy that the public took her side (over STD queen Kris) when the 'pa-star' incident was reported in the papers:


“Nakakataba ng puso. I guess it means that I’ve planted good seeds through the years.”

You are most welcome. We’re proud that for years after the title you’ve consistently carried yourself with the dignity of a true binibini.

2. Sweet Semen


basta ba walang melamine


3. Aiken-Lohan Outing

Welcome to the club dears. Did you get your starter kit, the flag? We wish you the very best.


Eric Santos sana na inspire ka. Sabi nga nila, honesty flocks together. Churv!

4. Rafael Nadal's Butt?


I’m no big tennis fan (excuse the pun) but you might be.

5. Book I Want To Read

The Jewel of Medina


This Sherry Jones novel published by Gibson Square (UK) is a fictional take about a young bride of the Prophet Mohammad.

The book is sparking a lot of controversies. Three men were arrested in Britain under the terrorism legislation after a fire caught the Gibson Square offices last Saturday. US based Random House cancelled its publication.


6. Miss Venezuela Back to Back?

The Venezuelan ’09 trinity was crowned earlier this month.



And as expected, it's a trio to beat!

Will next year be the year Mr. Osmel Sousa retires? Mr. Souza—the Miss Venezuela guru aims a historical exit: the year a Venezuelan crowns a Venezuelan at the Miss Universe.

6. Trip to Thailand

This trip is long overdue. Then again, the timing couldn’t be more perfect especially with the economic turmoil and all. A diplomat friend in now based in Bangkok and he's offered his place.


Airfare… done.
Hotel expenses…none.

Sabi nga ni Miss Colombia: Everything’s perfect!


P.S.

remember this line?


"Well, my family’s role for me is so important b’coz there was the wa- they’re, they was the one who’s… very… Hahahaha… Oh I’m so sorry, Ahhmm… My pamily… My family… Oh my god… I’m… Ok, I’m so sorry… I… I told you that I’m so confident… Eto, Ahhmm, Wait… Hahahaha, Ahmmm, Sorry guys because this was really my first pageant ever b’coz I’m only 17 years old and ahahaha I, I did not expect that I came from, I came from one of the tough 10. Hmmm, so… but I said dot my family is the most important persons in my life. Thank you."

Janina San Miguel quits Miss World tilt

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 9/30/2008 | 34 comments

Day Jobs, Affairs and Butts
August 16, 2008

It's hell, I tell you.


As Bryan Miseducated's day job braves an extended audit season he could hardly find time for his beloved blog. He's soooooo not very fond of their auditors right now. But just to keep this page from going stale, here's something that he thinks is worth mentioning:


Querida Adriana’s retort to Leigh’s “Not everyone can have meaningless one-night stands.”:


"First of all, girls, 'one-night stands' are for sad little people who meet in Atlantic City casinos or Midwestern hotels. 'Hooking up' is what drunken sorority girls do after their spring formals. We have affairs. Fabulous, sexy, spontaneous affairs. Understood?"

from:
Chasing Harry Winston
Lauren Weisberger
(the author of The Devil Wears Prada)


Bet mo?

I wish everyone affairs galore for years to cum come!! Woof!



P.S.


apparently, rumored closet queen Sam Milby exposed his rear on a local TV series


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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 8/16/2008 | 12 comments

NAME THE ICON
August 13, 2008
remember her?




maybe she can help...



still no clue, how about her?




oh come on, this is the give away...

It's Rainbow Brite!!


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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 8/13/2008 | 23 comments

How not to write a comeback post. (see example below)
August 05, 2008

popcorns are the most unlikely brain food. but popped cereal ears are exactly what my ortho-restrained teeth are working on this very moment hoping that they'd help me pen some fab comeback post.

a drizzle of salt and a slice of butter after...zilch!

no worries! i've queued up a few post after this...from a bit smart-assy book review to a jojo alejar oddity...

oh yes, the cliche...hiatus. i was offline for a while due to some technical problems. my wifi provider is one of the worst in the world but their incompetence was a timely one as i:

1. got to catch up with my reading. and by golly i'm hooked with a fab read. (see below)

2. found time to bling search (and an eventual purchase)

3. had time to replace my phone, (which SHOULD be, recession or otherwise, a semi-annual thing)





i missed you all!




woof!


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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 8/05/2008 | 17 comments

No Air!!
June 09, 2008
Naku Kuya bitawan mo na, no air na.

by: Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown

If I should die before I wake
It's 'cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air

I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
If there was a way that I can make you understand

But how do you expect me
To live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus:]
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air



I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew
Right off the ground to float to you
There's no gravity to hold me down for real

But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my breath, but I survived
I don't know how, but I don't even care

So how do you expect me
To live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus]

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No more
It's no air, no air

[Chorus x2]

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air

lurv this song! sabi nga ni miss villamil...so very!

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 6/09/2008 | 2 comments

Rampa Pinas
April 30, 2008

Bryan Miseducated


Location: Philippines

Mission: Maghanap ng mga bottom


Mission History:


NAIA 1900 hrs 29 Apr 08.

MOA 1800 hrs

Laffline 2000 hrs

Bed (as in kama, not the bar...alone, shi*) 0800 hrs 30 Apr 08.



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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 4/30/2008 | 9 comments

Gretchen Barreto vs Ramielle Malubay
February 29, 2008
The first time I learned about it I cringed. Dismissed it as one of them sick urban legends. But when I actually heard you sing, I just had to blog about it. "Save the wayward Barreto sister, save the world", I prayed.

Greta...no. You can't sing. Pronouncing the words sweetly is what you do in phonetics class. Hitting the notes right is another thing.

I wonder if you are alright.




Maybe you should start a hobby. SCandle making perhaps?



She however can...




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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 2/29/2008 | 61 comments

Fillers...While Bryan's out of Sync
February 17, 2008
i got this from spells4free.com

love spell for dummies

What you need:
2 red candles
1 white candle
1 photo of the person you love
cinnamon powder
a ginger root
7 incense

It is better if you can start the spell on a friday, to take advantage of Venus' attraction.

Place the white candle on a table between the 2 red candles, with your lover's picture against the white candle.

Make a ring of cinnamon powder around the 3 candles and place the ginger root beneath the table.

Place the incense inside the ring. Light the candles and the cinnamon powder. Say these words: "Spirits out, spirits in, my lover feels the breathe of love"Concentrate at least 10 minutes on all your wishes (i recommend you to prepare a list of your wishes before you start the spell) Say the sentence again and blow the candles off.

Let the incense consumes until the end.

Repeat this ceremony during 7 days, until next friday.

If you have such an opportunity, make your lover drink a tea with honey each of the 7 days.

When you are done with the 7 days ceremony, burry the ginger root.

try mo???

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 2/17/2008 | 3 comments

FILLER KUNG FILLER, BAKIT BA
January 24, 2008
I read a lot. A lot that’s just enough for me to
I know a good writer when
If I were a good writer
Not everyone can wri
I will write whatever I wa
I lack the talent

I can;t go wrong with my blog. Bloggers can't go wrong with their blogs.

I'll post fillers whenever and as often as I wish. The hell…






By the way, the Ms. Jims interview is coming really soon!




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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 1/24/2008 | 1 comments

Extraneously Yours #005
December 16, 2007
Joe hollers back: 'It's never a dull day in the Philippines!'

This is exciting. Remember my Hey, Joe post? I received a reply from the author himself.


Amang Turns 98

My paternal grandfather turns 98 today. That's 14 years on top of my current age multiplied by three. Whew! I'd be a geriatric wonder if I get that far.

Amang lakay, happy birthday! We love you!


A New Phone, Yet Again

My N76 is barely 3 months old. Yesterday I bought myself an iPhone.

Why do I buy things I don't need?

It's pathetic that I address my issues with my purchasing power. I need help.


Facebook.com

Tired of friendster? Try http://www.facebook.com/


Up to No.5?

We didn't perform so well this year. F***, we didn't get by at all! So I find it surprising that the Philippines is up to No. 5 (from No. 6 last year) among the most beautiful women in the world.


Well, if they must insist that we're up, the fact that we don't get that often... what the hell, up it is.

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 12/16/2007 | 10 comments

September 15, 2007
FAN-ANTICS

my love affair with britney and her music ended when i saw her vagina (if you must know, i can only endure seeing so much vagina).

but despite of ms. spears there are those who love her so much they've shelved the va-jayjay episode to the past and continue to support her.

let's hear from a twinkie hearbroken fan (who badly needs a haircut) what he has to say of the recent britney-bashing from the media post vma 2007:


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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 9/15/2007 | 7 comments

August 28, 2007
Under Construction



HTML-ing is Greek to me.

As I strive for a good read with a fab skin to match, in interim I'l be renting (pro bono) a few sites to host my blog.

The credits are there as they should be.

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 8/28/2007 | 2 comments

June 16, 2007
Ang Pagbabalik...






16 June 2007

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 6/16/2007 | 9 comments

January 16, 2007
Extraneously Yours #003


Miss Everything

Sushmita Sen’s sisters have their 1,000,000,001th reason to burn incense and dance dizzyingly about to celebrate ironically, a crownless 2006. After years of Venezuelan dominance, de habla espanola hermanas finally succumbed to them bollywood-bound beauties.

Let’s check what the beauty list says after the big switch:


http://www.globalbeauties.com



Melancholia

Bryan Anthony is taking a breather on things he can afford to be provisionally deprived of without resulting to starvation and eventually death (i.e. blog, chocolates, chat, friendster, porn, sex, shopping). As of press time, he’s in a fragile state of pensive sadness. He’ll be on hiatus for the time being. But of course he’ll be back.



16 January 2007

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 1/16/2007 | 4 comments

December 15, 2006
BETAng INa











Betang Ina

I know you so want…
to post a comment or two.
FYI: Bryan Miseducated…
switched to goggle-blogger beta version too.

So if you must say something;
Or fancy dropping your his and hellos.
You might want to switch your ass to beta;
Things then might get betta’

I know it’s silly…
To make a poem out of this
But hey, this is my fuckin’ blog
And so I wish everyone world peace!


15 December 2006

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 12/15/2006 | 8 comments