I will be waiting.
January 21, 2008


Like a pedicure for a double leg amputee it would be most inappropriate at the moment for me to give my personal take to the Kiks & Mandaya Project I signed up for. So I outsourced.

Ok.

Boy meets boy. Boy fucks boy. Boy loves boy. Other boy do not love boy. The oldest story in the world. Hence the letter below.

(NOTE as in NOTE. Bryan is neither boy or other boy. My story is more of a pornographic tragedy. This is a non-fiction)
(contact me if you wish to decrypt the text below)

"Dear xxxooxx,

This is the first letter I am writing you and i find it even difficult to start...It must have been plain attraction the first time I saw you but what happened afterwards surprised me...Everything happened so fast and it left us both hurting...I am writing this letter to you to let you know that I'm in a journey towards making peace with you and hopefully lessen the hurt we are both experiencing...

I am sorry I scared you, I did not realize that because I was scared myself...Scared to let you go...I honestly felt something special for you and I never wanted to let go no matter how hopeless it may seem...I was a little crazy, I guess but I just thought of fighting for what I feel, endure whatever comes because I thought in that way you would appreciate that kind of love I am willing to share with you...The kind of love many people dream of but seldom find...



I don't want to feel angry or bothered anymore because it only attracts angry and negative people in my life...Dont worry, this time no more threats, no more demands...I will be waiting at the center of the soccer field at Burnham park from 5 pm Saturday until 5 pm on Sunday.

I am doing this for myself...I want to earn your respect and I want you to feel my sincerity that I desire nothing but your forgiveness...

After doing this sacrifice, only then I can forgive myself for hurting a man to whom I promised 5 years of my life...

It's your decision if you still wanted to talk to me, with everything that happened between us, I understand if you're not yet ready to see me and I will not force you again...

What kind of love I have for you, I cannot say...All I know is that it exists. It's like the wind, you can`t see it but it is there... To only love is my passion in life.

Meeting you made me learn 2 things
1. how to love someone
2. how to let go of someone you love
...But I guess I am not that smart enough to remember both...I can only remenber the first one...

With you, beside you
xxxooxx"
***
"One person can't be happy enough for the two of us."
GETTING PERSONAL
Chris Manby

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 1/21/2008 | 14 comments

October 28, 2007
Pieces of Me
by: Guest Blogger Ms. Izzie Stevens (pen name)




'As silly as it may sound coming from a grown up woman, I am only now getting to know the real me. Of course I always had a clear view of what defines me: my values and priorities, my individuality, my relationships, my dreams and aspirations, my faith... But as is shown me the past year, adversity has a way of making you look at yourself in a way you never had before and make you realize what stuff you are really made of. It will defy what you think you can and cannot endure, what you should and should not compromise, what you can and cannot live without.. The thing with brokenness is you are left with pieces to put back together and in the process create something that is far different from what it once was.

The pieces I have, if left to me to put back together, will not make a whole. There are some pieces I have lost and can never regain; a few I have unwillingly set aside. Thinking about it, maybe it is not that I am now only knowing the real me. But I being pruned, refined, remoulded... Painful processes to be going through. Especially so that reasons for which I have yet to understand.. I have tried different ways to deal, each one getting me more confused and lost than before. That is until I realized I have been placing my trust to that which is also lost - my self.

It is not easy giving to God all the pieces I hold - especially those so dear, for Him to put back together according to His design, to trust that He will fill up the empty spaces left by the pieces I no longer have. It is a daily surrender coupled with His grace.. Not easy, yes, but in surrendering the pieces of me to Him, I came to understand the most important thing in defining who I am --- I am His. '


--------------------
izzie will be performing in broadway very very soon. she's a gentle person but will not hesitate to kick your ass specially when you try to snatch her bag. izzie is originally from rizal. she works for a british firm based in makati. we've been friends since college.

photo by istockphoto.com

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 10/28/2007 | 613 comments

December 27, 2006
Filler

While I leisurely hustle along year-end reports in protest to my company’s hostile policy on Christmas holidays, indulge me as my best bud fills-in.

Truth is, I didn’t really ask him to write me something, nor did I ask him to flood my recently flushed Friendster inbox which to mention in passing, digression intended, a laborious endeavor in a dial-up environment.

Warning: No English subtitle provided. Protests are exhausting.


On Losing Weight

"ANO DAW YUNG CAPTION MO SA PICTURE MO, `THREE` NGA BA? 2 GAYS PLUS 1 SLUT EQUALS THREE, OH I SEE. HEHEHE! ANYWAYS, I VISITED YOUR BLOG PERO PARANG DI KO ATA MALAMAN KUNG PAANO MAG POST NG COMMENT DUN, NAKAKA-STRESS TALAGA ANG MODERN TIMES...`MOY MAL`! ANDITO NA KO POZORRUBIO AND I’M ALL SET TO PLAZA PERGOLA LATER FOR THE MOST INGENIOUS LEISURE TIME HERE… ISAW-ISAW SA FRONT NG MARKET. I’M PUTTING MY FASHION GUARDS DOWN FOR THE MEANTIME TO GIVE WAY TO THE UNCHANGEABLE FELLOW POZORRUBIANS TO WHOM I SHARE MY GRASSROOTS. NGAYON LANG TALAGA AKO UMUWI KASE I DEVOTED MY BUM ERA SA PAGPAPAGANDA NG FIGURA... ANG AKING FIGURA NGAYON IS `MOY BIEN `. I LOST 22 POUNDS OR AROUND 10 KILOS! I’VE BEEN DIETING STRICTLY AND BEEN FEEDING ON BOXES OF WHOLE GRAIN CEREALS FROM MY DONYA ATE. I JUST ADD MELONS OR WATERMELONS OR ANY WATERY FRUIT WHICH HAVE LESS CALORIES BUT HAVE ADDED BULK TO GIVE ME THE ILLUSION OF BEING FULL. KASE I`VE DECIDED TO DO AWAY FROM A PENDULOUS DIETING,THAT IS I MEAN TO SAY IS WHEN YOU GET SLIM, THEN GET FAT AGAIN,THEN TRY TO GET FIT AGAIN AND THEN GET BORED AND THEN OBESE AGAIN. NO WAY HECK! I’M A LICENSED FAULTFINDER AND I NEED TO BE LESS FAULTY TO BE DESERVING TO MOCK OTHERS WHEN IT COMES TO FASHION AND FIGURA.

BY THE WAY, MY PICTURE`S CAPTION READS `DON`T CHA!`... HEHE!

CALL ME.

P.S. DRIED FRUITS LIKE RAISINS ARE RICH IN POTASSIUM NEEDED WHEN WORKING OUT SO WE DONT GET FATIGUED EASILY."(sic)


Diets

"TALKING ABOUT DIET… SI DIETHER NASA FRIENDSTER KO. DENTISTA NIYA KASE YUNG KA-KLASE KO SA NURSING. NAKITA KO SIYA PATI NA SI CHRISTINE HERMOSA WHEN THEY VISITED MY FRIEND`S DENTAL CLINIC. FABULOUS COUPLE, EXTRA FRIENDLY TOO."(sic)



friendship is a board topnotcher medical technologist. also a registered nurse, he recently passed the nclex he took when we went to seoul a few months back. bestfriend is unattached. last month he sent me a t-shirt with a big print: "i'm smart, that's why i'm single". he didn't think the shirt says much about him.



Merry Christmas to all!!!

27 December 2006


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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 12/27/2006 | 4 comments

SI BESTFRIENDSHIP
March 18, 2006
As we celebrate 10 years of best-friendship, let me introduce my best buddy by sharing his latest e-mail to me.


HOY LOLA (hey grandma),

UMUWI KA NA AT UR MISSING SO MUCH NA. (your missing so much so you better get your bubbly ass back home)

OFF AKO TODAY 3/17/2006 (I’m off duty today) AT (and) I DUNNO WHAT TO DO, GYM MAGHAPON AT MANGARAP SA MGA GUD LOOKING GUYS AND GAYS DUN, ( stay in the gym the whole day and droll at good looking guys and gays)

KASE NAMAN ANG GAGANDA NILA (it annoys me that are they all so good looking) AS IN THEY ARE IN THE POSITION TO MAKE ME FEEL UNPRETTY.

WISH KO LANG AT MAGHIWALAY LAHAT NG COUPLES DUN. (I wish all the gay couples there would break up soon)

BITTER!!!!!!!!!!! :)

NAPUNTAHAN KO NA YUNG BLOGSPOT MO AT WINNER IN ENGLISH KA, AS IN JENNIFER HAWKINS. (I’ve visited your BLOGSPOT and it is soooo Jennifer Hawkins)

DI KO ALAM MAG REPLY DUN KASE ALAM MO NAMAN AT MAHINA ME SA MGA COMPUTER EK EK EK. (You know how illiterate I am when it comes to computers and internet so I wasn’t able to post a reply)

D2 KA NA LANG MAG WORK KAYA SA MANILA, UNTI LANG SAHOD PERO PUNO NG TRIVIA ANG EVERY DAY NATIN. (Why can’t you just work here in Manila, the pay is not so big but our everyday lives would be filled with trivia)

TAPOS KAIN TAYO NG TUFO DUN SA CHINA TOWN TAPOS MANGHADA TAYO NG MGA CHINESE NA MUKHANG MONGOLOID HEHEHE… (Let’s eat tufo in China Town and cruise for Chinese guys who look like mongoloids.)

HAY NAKU, UMIIKOT BUHAY KO SA GYM LATELY, ANG DAMI KO NA REALIZE, I REALIZED NA HINDI PA AKO KAGANDAHAN TULAD NG MGA TAO DUN, I MEAN TO SAY PARANG NAPAPANGITAN AKO TALAGA SA SELF KO, PERO AT LEAST I LEARNED NA LUMUGAR AT WAG MUNA MANGARAP NG MGA GWAPO KASE DI NAMAN AKO KAGANDAHAN, KAILANGAN KO MUNA MAGPAKAHIRAP SA GYM BAGO AKO MANGARAP ULI.
(Lately my life runs around my work-out, I realized that I am not that good looking yet, I mean, I feel ugly, but the good part is I’ve come to realize where I stand and so now I stopped dreaming of handsome men since I don’t have equal looks to offer. I’m off to burn my ass at the gym before I start dreaming again.)

HAY NAKU, BITUING WALANG NINGNING.
(Star without shimmer…)

IM NOT GIVING TOO MUCH OF MY TIME SA WORK, THERE IS MUCH IN LIFE THAN WORK.

SANA GUMANDA NA ME SA TULONG NG FITNESS FIRST (I hope that soon I would look good, with the help of Fitness First) AT SANA (and hopefully) MY GRAY LIFE WUD BE COLORED RED.

NGA PALA MAY NABILI AKO ALBUM NG SPICE GIRLS SA QUIAPO, (By the way, I bought a Spice Girls CD at Quiapo). I PLAY IT WHEN I WORK OUT, NAAALALA KO COLLEGE DAYS NATIN. (I remember our college days…)

MISS U TOO FRENSHIP!

VIVA FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOY, HABAAN MO MESSAGE MO BAKLA (This one, I refuse to translate.)

Ladies and gentlemen: my best friend.


18 March 2006

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 3/18/2006 | 31 comments