March 30, 2007
MY FRIENDSTER IS SWARMED BY TINY BALD BEINGS


Unless a magical shit has turned my friends into midgets suffering from bad case of hair loss and some dental disease, I’m assuming all of these profile photos of bald, toothless beings on my friendster list are human babies.

What happened to the Hong-Kong-domestic-helper-turned-slut shots? Or the I-have-a-PVC-sunflower-infested-hat-and-I’m-holding-it-like-my-life-depended-on-it poses? Or the I’ve-been-to Europe-and-you-haven’t pictorials? Gawwd where are my friends?

These babies aren’t my friends. They’re my nieces, my nephews. I bet one day they’ll show up at my doorstep and accuse me of that-godfather-who-never-went-to-their-Christening where their parents who were thoughtful smart-asses wrote my name on the sponsor list in spite of me and my absence during the rites.

So I wonder why they are posing as my friends.

My friends party hard! My friends eat COSMO for breakfast and chew VOGUE for lunch. They dine with VISA. They chain smoke. They drink too much coffee and live on tequila. They don’t watch Tagalog movies (atleast they pretend not to). They pick-on my bad English. Among us them, one’s as promiscuous as the next. They bang their heads with Alanis and Tori Amos. They gyrate with INOJ. They sleep late and wake-up later. They’re my college friends…that is was is our lifestyle…

Perhaps they’ve left. Some infant on a crying-fit vigil is standing-in for them. Some new born shitting on his diapers has taken their place. Maybe they’re all gone.




Maybe I stayed behind.



30 March 2007

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 3/30/2007 |



18 Comments:

At 9:18 PM, Blogger howling said........
I think your friends have (already) morphed into myspace whores. LOL!
 




At 8:47 AM, Blogger Bryan Anthony the First said........
@howling: hahaha! they'd love to hear what you just said to them. they wont deny the whore part...not everyone anyway

woof!
 




At 12:08 PM, Blogger Momel said........
Your friendster friends are different from those in your blogroll. We might not be updating much, but we're still the same dipshits you've grown to appreciate.

At least I am.

Ha haa, miss you! Muah!
 




At 5:19 AM, Anonymous chase said........
Well I am not really a friendster fan and usually just use it to get in touch with relatives or old friends and classmates.

But I really like the vivid descriptions you just made. Hahhahahha
 




At 5:45 AM, Anonymous empress maruja said........
Hindi ko kinakrir Friendster ko, pero kapag dinadalaw ko, nakikita ko na lang yung mga friends ko may mga junakis na ever, habang ang family namin naghihintay ng apo (too bad, kakahiwalay lang ng brother ko).

Naku huh! Huwag silang umasa sa akin!
 




At 4:57 PM, Blogger maui pacquiao said........
me, nagfriendster lang ako kasi yon ang sabi ng mga students ko when i was still a part-time guro. karamihan nga ng friends ko doon e mga students ko. graduate na silang lahat. feeling ko matanda na ako.
 




At 6:30 AM, Blogger JoLoGs QuEeN said........
haha ^_^ may friendster pa pala i thought i was so archives na.

people boast it's a normal defense mechanism because they don't want to be left behind.
 




At 3:39 PM, Blogger Bryan Anthony the First said........
@momel: bigggggggg hug for you, and for mr. ahem of course.

@chase: those friendliness of mine are no less than vivid kasi, so desccribing them that way is easy peasy!
 




At 3:42 PM, Blogger Bryan Anthony the First said........
@empress: naku, baka di mo matanggap mana mo!

@maui: ako din, feeling ko senior citizen na, worse part of it e parang ala pa nangyayari sa buhay ko
 




At 3:44 PM, Blogger Bryan Anthony the First said........
@jologs: meron pa, exage! defense mechanism... interesting way to look at it.

thanks po sa lahat ng napasyal
 




At 5:36 PM, Blogger Lyka Bergen said........
This is happening to me too. Some of my friends have turned into dogs, rock stars, and the big ben.
 




At 8:35 PM, Blogger pat said........
what the f*** is up with babies having friendsters?

kung di lang talaga effective ang friendster as a means to find people i probably wouldnt have one.

by the way, add me up! hehe..
 




At 12:09 PM, Blogger Bryan Anthony the First said........
@lyka: "turned into dogs" ..figurative bay yun? hahahaha
 




At 12:12 PM, Blogger Bryan Anthony the First said........
@pat: suredy... basta may free tall latte ha! :-)

i'll drop a mail later

woof!
 




At 1:15 PM, Blogger Rose said........
i know exactly how you feel. hugs, bry.
 




At 3:11 PM, Anonymous fionixe said........
i have friends who turn into anime characters and electric guitars. ^_^
 




At 5:01 PM, Blogger Bryan Anthony the First said........
@rose: thanks...any update on the abr results?

@fionixe: electric guitars...man, thats a neo-classical :-) (whatever neo-classical means)

hehe
 




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