March 29, 2006
Tuesdays not with Morrie


Tuesday is right after Monday and too far from Friday, so there’s nothing much going on. Except in my folly, I accidentally added-in my black t-back to my “general” laundry—at this moment my house mary (house maid) is wondering if David used a similar mesh-pouched slingshot to kill Goliath.

Until…I thought of visiting my hometown’s web site to check what’s going on there and ended-up going through the bulletin board:

“Ei, good day to all of one, im just trying to create contact with those batchmates that i had before. Anyone who knows who that belonged to batch 1999 please to email me.. almer_0619@yahoo.com. Thanks and advance..”

“Ei, good day to all of one…”
Huh, good day to my self!

“…trying to create contact…”
Earth to Mars, Earth to Mars. Houston, we have a problem.

“…those batchmates that i had before…”
Slut! You slept with all of them?

“Anyone who knows who that belonged to batch 1999…”
Hey, hey, hey, slow down… say what?

“please to email me…”
Oh, please!

“Thanks and advance”
Now I know why your batch mates would not want to make contact.

Oh well… my Tuesday is not so dull after all.

P.S. Venetian merchant and traveler Marco Polo once said, “I have not told half of what I saw”. So expect a sequel…har har har!
Almer_0619 is a school mate, but I’m from batch 1996.


29 March 2006


posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 3/29/2006 | 3 comments
March 26, 2006
If your idea of a Saturday afternoon tea is vodka mix (orange & passion fruit) and onion rings, then you should have spent yesterday with me and as a bonus would have learned a few things.

By this time you would have thrown away those boxes of SP’s or Red Horse and have prevented another great plague by denying those pests of a rat a place to mate. Throw away beer? Yes. It turns out that vodka boosts your immune system.

Apparently, this colorless magic pumps your lymphocytes when you eat rust-marinated medium rare beef steak.


I never saw how corroded the grill they used in their failed attempt to cook the meat because I turned up late (I went for an afternoon tea, remember) for a dinner party. But it was unearthly almost epiphanous to experience the gradual action of natural agents such as air or salt water on metals on every munch on that bloody (the swear word) bloody (the adjective) steak while simultaneously worrying about them half-alive fibers making love with my braces.

After last night’s carnivorous-ferric encounter I woke up this morning feeling in the pink instead of the usual difficulty in swallowing and in opening of the jaws or muscle spasm you suffer after eating clostridium tetani.

The best part is I am now technically a tamer food bitch for allowing this dining disaster let pass. Not to mention that I am the father of the Vodka-Immunity Theory.

P.S.


I don’t know about my champagne-drenched friends but incase vodka fails to work for me I’m sure I had those anti-tetanus mouth drops from the Department of Health back when i was just a sober kid.

26 March 2006

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 3/26/2006 | 6 comments
I think I finally know you
I can see beyond your smile
I think that I can show you
That what we've had is still worthwhile
Don't you know that love's just like a thread
That keeps unraveling but then
It ties us back together in the end

In your eyes, I can see my dream's reflections
In your eyes, are the answers to my questions
In your eyes, I can see the reasons why our love's alive
In your eyes
We're drifting safely back to shore
I think I've finally learned to love you more

And he warns me that life changes
And that no one really knows
Whether time would make us strangers
Or whether time would make us grow
Even though the winds of time will change
In a world where nothing stays the same
Through it all our love will still remain

In your eyes, I can see the reasons why our love's alive
You and I
We're drifting safely back to shore
I think I've finally learned to love you more
I think I've finally know you
I finally love you
I see it all
In your eyes

26 March 2006

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 3/26/2006 | 1 comments
March 22, 2006


I never said Lamana parties are cheap shindigs. All I’m saying is that there are some things I require and look forward to, as opposed to standards expected at a party place.

I can’t afford Spain to be an Ibiza party-file, and I’m a US visa short to hang around Miami either. Exposure wise, I am anything but a party diva, and I refuse to be one even if people suffer agitation on my recent non-appearances at Port Moresby’s disco Mecca.

There were two instances when I suddenly got ill and had to cancel without notice. On one occasion at a Touguba Hill party we knock backed white and eventually red after we ran out of champagne; sober still I skipped Lamana (in the spirit of Lent) and denied myself further intoxication.

Lamana or the people who enjoy themselves there are NOT cheap; if my previous statements are tantamount to saying that they are cheap, then this BLOG is my recantation.

I’m learning how to blow bubbles with my saliva this weekend. I suppose we can party next
time.

22 March 2006

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 3/22/2006 | 7 comments
Port Moresby.

The victorious mood all over town concocted a pleasant irony.

Here's the scene: While at the gym, everyone--sweat and all saw Ryan Pini on TV swam for Papua New Guinea’s first gold at the Melbourne 2006 Commonwealth Games.




Pini is PNG-born & raised Caucasian winning the gold. Indian & Filipino expatriates clapping in joy. Squash-crazed Malaysians shouting "Yes ayo!" in sheer delight. A Kiwi friend admitting he was teary eyed over Mr. Pini's win.

That you don’t see everyday.

21 March 2006



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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 3/22/2006 | 2 comments
March 18, 2006
As we celebrate 10 years of best-friendship, let me introduce my best buddy by sharing his latest e-mail to me.


HOY LOLA (hey grandma),

UMUWI KA NA AT UR MISSING SO MUCH NA. (your missing so much so you better get your bubbly ass back home)

OFF AKO TODAY 3/17/2006 (I’m off duty today) AT (and) I DUNNO WHAT TO DO, GYM MAGHAPON AT MANGARAP SA MGA GUD LOOKING GUYS AND GAYS DUN, ( stay in the gym the whole day and droll at good looking guys and gays)

KASE NAMAN ANG GAGANDA NILA (it annoys me that are they all so good looking) AS IN THEY ARE IN THE POSITION TO MAKE ME FEEL UNPRETTY.

WISH KO LANG AT MAGHIWALAY LAHAT NG COUPLES DUN. (I wish all the gay couples there would break up soon)

BITTER!!!!!!!!!!! :)

NAPUNTAHAN KO NA YUNG BLOGSPOT MO AT WINNER IN ENGLISH KA, AS IN JENNIFER HAWKINS. (I’ve visited your BLOGSPOT and it is soooo Jennifer Hawkins)

DI KO ALAM MAG REPLY DUN KASE ALAM MO NAMAN AT MAHINA ME SA MGA COMPUTER EK EK EK. (You know how illiterate I am when it comes to computers and internet so I wasn’t able to post a reply)

D2 KA NA LANG MAG WORK KAYA SA MANILA, UNTI LANG SAHOD PERO PUNO NG TRIVIA ANG EVERY DAY NATIN. (Why can’t you just work here in Manila, the pay is not so big but our everyday lives would be filled with trivia)

TAPOS KAIN TAYO NG TUFO DUN SA CHINA TOWN TAPOS MANGHADA TAYO NG MGA CHINESE NA MUKHANG MONGOLOID HEHEHE… (Let’s eat tufo in China Town and cruise for Chinese guys who look like mongoloids.)

HAY NAKU, UMIIKOT BUHAY KO SA GYM LATELY, ANG DAMI KO NA REALIZE, I REALIZED NA HINDI PA AKO KAGANDAHAN TULAD NG MGA TAO DUN, I MEAN TO SAY PARANG NAPAPANGITAN AKO TALAGA SA SELF KO, PERO AT LEAST I LEARNED NA LUMUGAR AT WAG MUNA MANGARAP NG MGA GWAPO KASE DI NAMAN AKO KAGANDAHAN, KAILANGAN KO MUNA MAGPAKAHIRAP SA GYM BAGO AKO MANGARAP ULI.
(Lately my life runs around my work-out, I realized that I am not that good looking yet, I mean, I feel ugly, but the good part is I’ve come to realize where I stand and so now I stopped dreaming of handsome men since I don’t have equal looks to offer. I’m off to burn my ass at the gym before I start dreaming again.)

HAY NAKU, BITUING WALANG NINGNING.
(Star without shimmer…)

IM NOT GIVING TOO MUCH OF MY TIME SA WORK, THERE IS MUCH IN LIFE THAN WORK.

SANA GUMANDA NA ME SA TULONG NG FITNESS FIRST (I hope that soon I would look good, with the help of Fitness First) AT SANA (and hopefully) MY GRAY LIFE WUD BE COLORED RED.

NGA PALA MAY NABILI AKO ALBUM NG SPICE GIRLS SA QUIAPO, (By the way, I bought a Spice Girls CD at Quiapo). I PLAY IT WHEN I WORK OUT, NAAALALA KO COLLEGE DAYS NATIN. (I remember our college days…)

MISS U TOO FRENSHIP!

VIVA FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOY, HABAAN MO MESSAGE MO BAKLA (This one, I refuse to translate.)

Ladies and gentlemen: my best friend.


18 March 2006

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 3/18/2006 | 37 comments
March 17, 2006
My bed is starting to get crowded. GREET MY BREAST LID bought me a croc stuffed toy to accompany my caveman teddy. I have a small bed. Good enough for just one person, and conveniently good enough for me—in Port Moresby anyway.

A spacious bed is a lonely bed, I dare say. I wonder how Ces dozes the night away (except during vodka or tequila nights) when she’s got an entire outback of space in her king-sized bed. I find it daunting that every toss and turn’s a reminder that there’s nobody to grumble “Move over!” at but your pretty little self.

A few weeks ago, I had dinner with Ces. Struggling with her chopsticks, she asked me: “WHEN will I be truly happy?”. I almost told her to drop by Eii Home (a furniture shop) and get a new bed—a smaller one. Too full to be cynical after a lovely Japanese dinner, I sighed reassuringly instead.

A former love once told me that happiness is a state of mind. I don't understand what he meant. I, on the other hand believe happiness doesn’t come in one she-bang. Not in one lump-sum. They come in pieces—pieces that you have to sort-out to make life bearable. Like the game Tetris, bricks of assorted shapes drop one after another for you to sort out. Sometimes you get the easily maneuverable pieces; sometimes you get the odd-shaped ones like the crosses or the L-shapes.

After the dinner my phone rang and it’s Midnight-Caller on the other line, offering yet another indecent proposal to spend the night in his bed. I sighed, wished him a good night and (for the nth time since we first met) turned him down.

That night I slept in my small bed with caveman, croc and the last 100 pages of Sharon Creech.

17 March 2006



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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 3/17/2006 | 2 comments
March 14, 2006


A Visayan hag squeaks a hair-raising “Heeelu!” every time I try to ring my best friend’s mobile. For the umpteenth time he lost another phone. I’ve been meaning to call him to solicit some unscientific but at times multi-dimensionally reliable street statistics.

Down-under, Australian liberals are pushing (and dancing) harder for the legalization of same-sex unions in time to this year’s Mardi Gras celebration.


I'm guessing that a similar and a pervasive clamor would soon be spreading across the western world.

And since it’s a trend from the west, Manila would surely follow suit.

Or maybe not…

According to my mate’s statisticians (a.k.a. chat room loiters) very few among our gay and lesbian acquaintances are considering marriage with their current partners.


I find my data surprising as I my self have spent margarita nights with these couples on several occasions and their overflowing conspicuousness of affections indicate otherwise.

It is gullible to make any assumption on this matter. I have to mention though that a similar observation among my heterosexual pals. Very few contemplate on getting married either.



---

I confess my fancy to be the other groom to GREET MY BREAST LID. But for now, I’m comfortable relating outside the institution or any of its legalized substitutes.

I’m curling my nose—four pages of Andre Dubus’ House of Sand and Fog are missing!


14 March 2006








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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 3/14/2006 | 2 comments
March 06, 2006
Over lunch, while planning for a non-Lamana Saturday night we were disrespectfully and abruptly interrupted by a news flash. A Pinoy Gossip News Central correspondent dressed like an up-side-down stale cotton candy had a feature broadcast: a bona fide transsexual dragged his…uh…her drag queen ass to Port Moresby and is here to paint the town red to lovingly match the already betel nut-red roads.

The news says: the overhaul costs are: PhP 200,000.00 for his…uh…her mammary glands and PhP 700,000.00 for her muscular tube that connects the neck (cervix) of the uterus (huh?) to the exterior.

Her disconcerting news that matched her ill-timed, vomit-pink, 80’s dark ages jeans unnecessarilly drew me away from my to-be BLOG thoughts: Half-wit sexy star turned queen-of-confessors Keanna Reeves hears the long overdue confession of showbiz royalty Big Brother housemate with birds-nest hairdo Rustom Padilla what the rest of the world already knew—that he’s gay.

Dazed why a million pesos had to be wasted on a depth-restricted vagina (no deeper than 6 inches, I was told), I cataleptically agreed to be Rustom Padilla instead of being the Bianca on our weekly alcohol smorgasbord + role playing.

Dazed still, I’ll end this entry without making any point and void of any sense. Then agan, most confessions and Saturday night drunkenness aren't any sense ahead.

06 March 2006




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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 3/06/2006 | 3 comments
March 04, 2006
You can never be too happy in this life.



When farting develops into a delightful hobby, then things are turning unbearably mundane in Port Moresby.

Though banal days are as regular, almost customary as revolutions and coup d’états in Manila, things in POM do twirl ala Cirque du Soleil every now and then.

Like my dear Indonesian friend throwing up during a sail or spilling pockets and pockets of condoms all over Dolphin Blue's floor or me admitting that I’m a low-maintenance boyfriend.

Like today, i give thanks to Ms. Velasquez’s version of Eraserheads' “With a Smile” for steadfastly keeping a beam in my face during the course of this cloudy day.

I know somewhere a bit north of the equator along the shores of South China Sea, someone’s singing this song for me.

Greet my breast lid!

For the composer and the voice behind the song…salamat po.


With a Smile

Lift your head, baby, don’t be scared
Of the things that could go wrong along the way
You’ll get by with a smile
You can’t win at everything but you can try

Baby, you don’t have to worry
Coz there ain’t no need to hurry
No one ever said that there’s an easy way

When they’re closing all the doors
They don’t want you anymore
This sounds funny but I’ll say it anyway

Oh I’ll stay through the bad times
Even if I have to fetch you everyday
You’ll get by if you smile
You can never be too happy in this life

In the world where everybody
Hates a happy ending story
It’s a wonder love can make the world go round

But don’t let it bring you down
And turn your face into a frown
You’ll get along with a little prayer and this song



03 March 2006

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 3/04/2006 | 2 comments
March 01, 2006
Having exhausted all my Manila activities to satire about, I’m faced with the tempting evil of writing about Port Moresby’s prime selection of twisted, out-of-this-raunchy-world love stories involving bored-to-witlessness Filipinos. And since all my BLOG entries are faithfully a-romantic, you could just imagine the purgatory I’m going through.

Ergo, I pray hard. Not against the evil mentioned earlier where the Filipino information super highway is the proper thoroughfare for that but for something to deliver me from boredom so I may keep whatever’s left of my wits.

Until… someone through my Outlook popped a rather well exemplified discussion on “Pseudo-relationships”. Her thesis did solicit a lot of smirks and nods from me, not to mention 10 itchy fingers wanting to tap the keyboard and write a smartass-ish commentary about it.

I “pseudo” finished a paragraph and a half until my thoughts petered-out.

The writer tried to establish this school of thought: that a pseudo-relationship is not a valid relationship, that a pseudo-relationship is a substitute for the real thing. In her lengthy enumeration, she pointed out that the absence of and/or a deviation from one of the many socially-established elements of a relationship invalidates one.

Does it?

If we extend this view point on life in general, then I’ll find my bubbly ass floating in a sea of pseudo-lives. Lives like that of Mary who keeps a boyfriend but she’s in love with someone else. Or John's, a husband and father of four, but lives in a Makati condominium with his boyfriend. Or that of Parker's, an AusAid economic consultant but daydreams of starring with Russel Crowe in Broke Back Mountain II.


Is their existence unreal for living a disparate life from the one they want--a life off-tangent with the one they should have?

I have nothing against the innocuous zeitgeist of “pseudo” things. But I wonder: Are pseudo-relationships any less than the supposedly real one if you throw yourself in these “pseudos” with conscious choices?

I am Bryan Anthony, 26. Tell me about life.

01 March 2006


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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 3/01/2006 | 4 comments