January 26, 2007
Things of the Month, January 2007

1. Book of the Month
Satan’s Slut
By: Aishling Morgan

Buggers! This is not my autobiography.
I saw this paperback at PowerBooks SM Mall of Asia shelved and waiting to assist men in their late 20’s who still stroke their genitals for sexual pleasure. I left the bookstore with a sense of morality and self-respect Mystica can only dream of. I bought a bookmark.

2. Quote of the Month
On Aging

“At 50, everyone has the face he deserves.”
George Orwell
British Writer



3. Boylet of the Month

Gleiber Solari

Gleiber Solari
Mr. Brazil 2007 Candidate

4. Sins of the Month
Gluttony & Sloth

I gained 10 kilos over the last 2.5 months. I will starve myself to death. Like now na!

thanks to http://rosieredhot.blogspot.com for the photos


5. Blog of the Month
Las Tres Estrellas

A colorific smorgasbord from the other side of heterosexual life: from fashion to Christmas trees to bulges and armpits. They (three of them plus Mama O) will seduce you into liking things you don't usually fancy and end up their comment slave.
Brighten up your day with http://lastresestrellas.blogspot.com/

6. Gossip of the Month
Sam & Piolo
This is self expanantory. Very self explanatory.
End of list.

26 January 2007

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 1/26/2007 | 23 comments

January 17, 2007
DEAR SIBLING







Dear sibling,

How have you been spending your first pay? I say spend it all on something lavish and I’ll answer for the rest of your expenses until your next wage.

I can only assume how you feel about the board examination result. I am not happy of course. I am not sad either. I understand.

I rang up the night before day-1 of the examinations. We went on and on cracking old jokes. Then you mustered your courage to tell manong Bry that someone broke your heart—your first time.

I can tell as you blether hate, anger and hope that you’re in a flat spin. I can feel through each sob, you’re smashed to smithereens.

Your phone line's end is flooded with tears.

You tried haplessly to put into words your pain.

You told me it’s unfair and then asked me why?

Hey, you didn’t tell me there’s someone there to cause all these in the first place.

No sibling, I don’t grasp it no more than you do. Love is messy. Sorry, but that’s the best I can come up with. At any rate Manong will be here to help at every turn.

Sibling, hang on there. The raining and pouring shall end.



I’ll remain,

Manong Bry





17 January 2007

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 1/17/2007 | 18 comments

January 16, 2007
Extraneously Yours #003


Miss Everything

Sushmita Sen’s sisters have their 1,000,000,001th reason to burn incense and dance dizzyingly about to celebrate ironically, a crownless 2006. After years of Venezuelan dominance, de habla espanola hermanas finally succumbed to them bollywood-bound beauties.

Let’s check what the beauty list says after the big switch:


http://www.globalbeauties.com



Melancholia

Bryan Anthony is taking a breather on things he can afford to be provisionally deprived of without resulting to starvation and eventually death (i.e. blog, chocolates, chat, friendster, porn, sex, shopping). As of press time, he’s in a fragile state of pensive sadness. He’ll be on hiatus for the time being. But of course he’ll be back.



16 January 2007

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 1/16/2007 | 4 comments

January 06, 2007
A Mysterious Roll of Paper

2.30 a.m.
While my ass snores the night away, a heavy knocking on my door. Screamed a string of profanities, yielded to my disturber and got up from the bed.
Eyed the peephole. Not a soul in sight except for a wooden box sitting on the floor.
I opened the box and found a rolled paper resting inside. Unrolled the paper and read:


"Seven People (Filipinos) You Meet in Port Moresby

1. The Pioneers. Prehistoric legend has it that they paddled their way to pre-independence Papua New Guinea (1975) fleeing the Imelda Inquisition.

This is the bunch I don’t know much about but ever so easy to spot in a crowd.

From the transnational-visa holder, fluent-in-pidgin, faux Australian accent-speaking grandpas down to their Manila-pollution & SM-Cinema deprived offsprings; they’re almost always vexingly together anywhere they go. Thronging the ever few expatriate-safe locations, you’d swear it’s a “Tanging Yaman” cast apparition—noise and all. And you thought this Johnny Delgado movie left you unscathed.

2. Second Generation. These are the one’s who endured the Imelda inquisition but in their despair of the Aquino regency they preferred a fourth world country where the PNG Kina (then) was pegged at par with the US dollar over their yellow-ribbon-ed & coup d’ètat infested 7,100 islands motherland.

Like the Pioneers, they are ever present during them infamously banal June 12 Independence Day celebrations with usual appearances of imported minor over-sensationalized celebrities, Bingo Bonanzas, Christmas Parties and basketball tournaments.

No noticeable foreign accent. Unlike their antediluvian predecessors they probably flew PAL, economy seats.

3. Cross Breeders. Creation decided to shower the Philippine archipelago with aesthetics-gifted female of the specie instead of uranium deposits. (2) Miss Universe, (4) Miss International and counting. And as a recycling program for them non-winners, voila: “Breed Worldwide Until We Rule The Earth Program”.

Expectedly, “Operation Melanesia” turned-out to be a disappointment. The Port Moresby-based Cross Breeders almost exclusively bartered chromosomes to non-resident Caucasians only.

Too much jewelry, that’s them.

4. The Entertainers. This lot invaded this Melanesian country with a cultural rather than a reproductive modus operandi. Dancing techno Tinikling and belting Bituing Walang Ning Ning R&B remix to sustain the ever increasing but we’re-all-constantly-wondering-where-it’s-going Banko Sentral ng Pilipinas dollar reserves.

Fearless (historical) forecast: a few prodigal daughters are shifting vocation to an older profession.

Too much unpalatable flesh...

5. Churchgoers. Well, you see them in church every Sunday. Always. Ubiquitous. Chronic. Omnipresent.

They &%#*&#$#*&!

6. Accountants. Grace Adler once said, “I hate clowns. They think they’re so funny”.

Delete “clowns”. Insert “accountants”. Delete “funny”. Insert “smart”.

Grace is never wrong.

7. Then there’s this gang of five guys that you’ll live life regretfully if you never get to meet them.

Nothing extremely special about this party of five but they guarantee an experience second only to that feeling of orgasmic headboard-rocking coitus.
Ever genial and handy, they paint the town red onboard a green Mitsubishi."


06 January 2007

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 1/06/2007 | 12 comments

January 02, 2007
Woof! Woof! Woof!

Who’d think I’d cross years hitting keys and talking and sharing shit, no shit and stuff?

I’d say I love my new online life. And if no one else fancies, I’m here to stay at least for myself. :-)

My thank you to everyone who shared their time reading through my posts (I sympathize with your struggle on my use/misuse of the language which by the way is not my first tongue but my 4th) and for all your priceless thoughts imparted here at Bryan Miseducated.

Here’s to another year of fun blogging!

Cheers!

I remain,

Bryan Anthony
27
The Philippines
(on exile, Papua New Guinea)

02 January 2007

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posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 1/02/2007 | 15 comments