My version of:
Little Red Riding Hood
Part 1
My little Red Riding hood is a sophomore from Don Bosco High School. He’s a queen. A silly queen for thinking that red is the new pink, but queen nonetheless. Furtunato is the only openly nelly princess in the campus. But man enough on being honest in dealing with the issues of his groin. His classmates christened him Nelly Fortunato. The drag onomastics can be traced after that girl who sang the “I’m like a bird” song—an irony for someone who’d gladly be rid of his (bird) but would dexterously welcome it or them on a daily basis at least in oral terms.
After-school bullying doesn’t really bother Fortunato much. He’s spared from all the tormenting at school thanks to Father Carlos Agasoux for keeping an eye of them browbeaters hovering around. Father Carlos is fond of him as much as he’s fond of Club Fahrenheit located in Quezon Avenue. Like Fortunato, Father once enjoyed stuffs like chinese garter, piko, and bahay bahayan with rape-rape-an. Father Carlos never missed a single Little Miss Philippines grand finals and would rather die if he ever miss an episode of That’s Entertainment. Father had a crush on Chucky Dreyfuss. Fortunato reminded him of his pre-San Carlos seminary days.
But on weekends Fortunato is often left all alone by himself.
The citizens of Brgy. San Juan De Dios opine: It’s fine to be with a regular/generic twink with french tips nail and fuchsia halter top but well aware that there is a greater shame than admitting to watching ASAP or SOP and that is to be seen with a teen who wears unfailingly but may I say prettily a hooded red cape around his gawky Amelia Vega shoulders even if the sun bakes San Juan at 43 degrees.
That’s why for him Grandma is a super hero. Our little red riding hood has her to spend weekends at. Grandma lives in Makati at the Oakwood. Her instant wealth is a result a of freak accident while sautéing corn kernels she was planning to serve as a snack during a novena for her sister who had a fatal heart attack years back when Miriam Quiambao lost to Miss Botswana during the Miss Universe of 1999. By mistake, Grandma spilled a 50 kg sack of monosodium glutamate into the wok of deep fried kernels. For ten million pesos and a life long supply of corn snacks, she sold her recipe to the founders of the Bouy Bawang empire.
26 April 207
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