By this time you would have thrown away those boxes of SP’s or Red Horse and have prevented another great plague by denying those pests of a rat a place to mate. Throw away beer? Yes. It turns out that vodka boosts your immune system.
Apparently, this colorless magic pumps your lymphocytes when you eat rust-marinated medium rare beef steak.
I never saw how corroded the grill they used in their failed attempt to cook the meat because I turned up late (I went for an afternoon tea, remember) for a dinner party. But it was unearthly almost epiphanous to experience the gradual action of natural agents such as air or salt water on metals on every munch on that bloody (the swear word) bloody (the adjective) steak while simultaneously worrying about them half-alive fibers making love with my braces.
After last night’s carnivorous-ferric encounter I woke up this morning feeling in the pink instead of the usual difficulty in swallowing and in opening of the jaws or muscle spasm you suffer after eating clostridium tetani.
The best part is I am now technically a tamer food bitch for allowing this dining disaster let pass. Not to mention that I am the father of the Vodka-Immunity Theory.
P.S.
I don’t know about my champagne-drenched friends but incase vodka fails to work for me I’m sure I had those anti-tetanus mouth drops from the Department of Health back when i was just a sober kid.
26 March 2006
Labels: PNG Connection
