May 02, 2006
MISS PERSONALITY

My Bible-armed colleague ambushed me one I-wish-heaven-spares-me-of-annoying-half-wit-cretins-or-better-yet-no-one-speaks-to-me Monday morning and rubbed the pages of the Acts of the Apostles to my Nivea Pore Cleanser and Nivea Facial Wash nursed face. I was so gullible not to hold my Catholic university-educated tongue trained to discuss the missionary paradigm of Saint Paul and not those afternoon-Catechism sort about feast day of saints or the mysteries of the rosary that I shocked her bigot ass when I retorted, out of my exasperation of her invasive office-hours evangelization, that I don’t subscribe to the story of the physical Resurrection of Christ.

This is but one of the personalities I deal with in my day to day here in the Betel Nut capital of the World—Port Moresby! Aint life a b****? Well, not all the time. There are things such as this that make you smile like its raining orgasm [insert rolling eyes here].

Have you ever came across this sign before?

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline!

If you are OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE: Please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are CO-DEPENDENT: Please ask someone to press 2.

If you have MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES: Please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are PARANOID-DELUSIONAL: We know who you are and what you want. Just stay online so we can trace the call.

If you are SCHEZOPHRENIC: Listen carefully—a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are MANIC-DEPRESSIVE: It doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.
02 May 2006
posted by Bryan Anthony the First at 5/02/2006 |



10 Comments:

At 11:56 AM, Blogger Jay said........
i feel you brother! the rapture is coming! repent! :-)
 




At 5:55 PM, Blogger adi said........
definitely, multiple personalities. to-go, please.

oh, and... uhm... i guess... large fries..?

...something? what sayeth you, Erik? Adrian? Bernard?
 




At 8:52 AM, Blogger Kiss My Mike said........
And if you are Russel Crowe, just throw the fucking phone to someone else's face. ;-P

BTW, Is Nivea any good?
 




At 12:06 PM, Blogger Bryan Anthony the First said........
i think Clean & Clear is better ;-0
 




At 8:38 PM, Blogger /iambrew said........
SCHEZOPHRENIC >>>
I am still waiting for that little sound... Hmmm...
 




At 7:01 PM, Blogger cheH said........
I find this Psych Humor so hilarious!lol
 




At 10:50 PM, Blogger ie said........
it really sucks when someone's trying to bitch around with his/her spiritual profoundness. especially when you realize that since we're talking about metaphysics here, no one can really be certain.

by the way, the press number thing got me laughing. panalo. ha ha. :]
 




At 11:14 PM, Blogger NeiLDC said........
I dont know what to press, 911 i guess, warning dont talk to stranger on the phone, THE CALL
 




At 4:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said........
Where did you find it? Interesting read »
 




At 9:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said........
Where did you find it? Interesting read » »